Unnecessary Attraction

Ever since then I’d been fond of stationeries—from the useful to aesthetic ones—I’m definitely guilty of buying more than I need. I don’t know, but I’m just constantly attracted to how cute and eye-pleasing they are. I mean, I tried many times to control that urge, but I always find ways to justify my every act of buying. The small notebooks, sticky notes, pens, and fancy paper are already piling up and accumulating dust in the corner, yet as I gazed at them, I strangely didn’t feel regret because I always assured myself that someday I could use them for some project. But when will that some day be?

Even though I’m guilty with my whim buying, still I can’t say I didn’t feel happiness and satisfaction after I bought them. Perhaps the pleasure that I get from it stems from the unfulfilled wants I got way back my younger days. Before, I was quite frugal with my money because I was afraid that my mother would scold me, and so I just got contented with gazing at those lovely stationeries my classmates had back then. I wanted to also buy them, but I was too afraid to do so. That’s why when I got older my yearning for collecting those stationaries grew strong. I treasure those stationeries—to the point where I become really careful in using them. I still even have the first sticky notes and postcard I received from our scholarship sponsors more than seven years ago. That may sound ridiculous, but that’s how sentimental I get with those stuff.

At times, I wished I could control that urge because it’s honestly taxing to my budget. That urge just comes all of a sudden, especially when I see adorable stationery—and speaking of adorable, I again bought some today. It’s a sticker from a Korean surplus shop, and the moment I laid my eyes on it, I knew I’d definitely buy it. There are a lot of temptations there; stacks of stationery such as notebooks, planners, colored papers, and notepads are there…as if tempting me to spend impulsively again, yet I resisted and convinced myself not to spend for a while, not until I saw that sticker. I know I’ll totally regret it later on if I don’t buy it, so with that—I give in again to my whim haha.

Indeed, I’m such a slave to this unnecessary attraction, yet I’m positive I’m gradually improving in controlling it. Before I spend quite much on them, yet now—the amount I spend became more mindful. It's not a fast improvement, but yeah…slowly I’ll get there.