A change in parenting over the years

Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks I know; it's not easy sacrificing one's convenience for the peace of others. Parenthood is not for the faint-hearted; there are times when one will nearly lose it, especially when the child or children aren't feeling well. Over the years, I've seen my parents labored over me and my siblings day and night. Going out of their comfort zone to make us feel comfortable. Putting a smile on our faces even when they are sad. Their sacrifices are unquantifiable and this is the beauty of parenthood. Seeing your children turn out the way you've wished and always wanted. Every parent wants children who will carry on their legacy and make them proud. This is why many parents would do anything to see their children succeed.

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Amidst all these sacrifices, either physically, emotionally, psychologically, or mentally, in between is a good upbringing. Back in the 80s, when the world was not so advanced, a child's upbringing was a lot better than now, I thought it should get better with age and development, but it's really getting worse. These days, we now have parents who don't know their bearings and purpose in life, yet they are bringing offspring to come and partake of the mess. A lot has gone wrong with parenting in this Gen Z generation. Several factors stand out in a child's upbringing back in the olden days that are no longer visible now.

• Discipline:- in a child's upbringing, we can't but talk about discipline. This is one of the most important tasks of a parent over their children. I remember while growing up, my mom could literally use her eyes to communicate with me, and I would get the message right and act immediately. There are different eye contacts for correction, scolding, encouragement, and many more. If by chance I followed my mummy out and she didn't want me to eat, there is a way she will communicate with me with her eyes, and I will get the message,, unlike this generation. My younger sister, the last child of the family, was in this situation, and she literally asked my mom what was wrong with her eyes. That day, fear caught me on her behalf (I was afraid for her). When children misbehave and act inappropriately these days, we call it being outspoken. Rudeness is now being appreciated as being bold and brave. You will see youngsters talk back at their parents and elders like it's nothing. Parents no longer inculcate that discipline into their children.

• Morals and values:- this is where parents teach their children the basic things of life they need to know, such as showing respect to others, the right and appropriate ways to communicate with an elder, the right ways to greet, dress, talk in public, and behave. It saddens the heart that the new generation of parents don't know how to behave themselves, not to talk of teaching their wards to be. How, then, can we redeem our society from destruction?

• Contentment is one of the key parts of upbringing; we have lots of nuisance in our society today, parading themselves as Gen Z involved in several kinds of atrocities and immoral acts because of greed. I miss the good old days when growing up as a child, you dared not collect a gift, irrespective of how small it was, from a stranger. No matter how rich and comfortable your friend's family is, you dare not go to their house to eat or collect anything given to eat without your parent's consent. Growing up as a child, then I was living with my grandma, and there was no television to watch, whereas our neighbors had black and white TV sets. After school, I would stay indoors and read or sleep instead of sneaking around to watch television, which would lead to them giving me anything, especially when they were eating. Then contentment was adored and cherished. There is fear of one's parent, but now, children no longer have that fear, it seems they are ready for anything from birth.

I do tell my younger brothers that they are enjoying the new version of our parents. My mom would give orders, and I'd see them protesting and choosing the ones convenient for them to follow, unlike when I was growing up. I dare not question my mom; it will result in a deafening slap. Sometimes, it makes me ask if it was because I was the first child. That's why I had to go through such a hard time while growing up, and these babies are now enjoying what I should have enjoyed. In the 80s, there is fear of one's parents. Even those old enough for marriage would still be scared of their parents seeing them with a man but nowadays, you will see young girls frolicking around shamelessly with men old enough to be their grandfathers.

In my opinion, one factor that contributed to these sudden changes in parenting could be traced to technology. In the 80s, there was no advanced technology; parents spent quality time with their children, unlike now, where both the father and the mother are busy on social media, likewise the child. No adequate monitoring of the children's activities on social media. A family where the father and mother are tiktokers, dancing half-naked just for followers and viewers, what kind of offspring do you expect from such a family?

Another factor that's related is lifestyle, in the 80s, the major occupation was farming, and for those who worked in a corporate environment, they close at an ideal time to be with their family unlike now when the parents would have left home as early as 5am to beat the traffic, leaving the children with nannies and returning home late at night when the children would have slept. There is no good communication between the parents and their children. Those who tried to create time gave their wards the liberty to dictate to them what they wanted instead of being the commander. In the process of this, the children become irresponsible, exhibiting a lack of morals in society.

Back in the 80s, parents took full responsibility for their children, but nowadays, some parents now send their children out to fend for themselves at ages when they should still be under their parent's care. Some parents go as far as comparing other children with theirs which gives the children no option but to go out in search of whatever the parents wanted him or her to be. Sometimes, these don't go well in the end, while the lucky ones are few. Gen Z parents should realize that there is more to being a parent than just being called a mother or father. The sacrifices are too much for some to make, but everyone wants a child, and at the end of the day, they fail as parents when they can't cope with the responsibilities, which are too numerous to count, ranging from emotional, psychological, and mental to financial responsibilities. Over the years, parenting has changed from children being obedient and innocent to being the opinion giver and dictator.

Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.

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