Parenting

In John Locke's philosophy, the idea of "tabula rasa" suggests that the human mind is like a blank slate at birth. According to this theory, we learn and develop our understanding of the world through our experiences. However, I believe that children do not overlook the teachings of their parents.

Reflecting on my upbringing, I notice that the way parents raised their children in the past differs greatly from contemporary parenting styles. In the past, parents were typically more authoritative and disciplined. This approach instilled a sense of loyalty and obedience in their children. With strict authority and discipline, we were taught to value our cultural heritage and traditions.

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Growing up, we often believed that straying from these teachings would lead to failure in life. For instance, there were warnings designed to instill caution in us. I remember vividly that parents will tell a girl child that if a boy touches them, they would become pregnant. Such statements might sound extreme today, but they compelled us to be careful and stay on the path that our parents laid out for us.

One memory that stands out for me is when I was preparing to go to university. My father sat me down for an important talk. He told me, "Now that you’re going to school, you must understand that you are your own security." He meant that I needed to be responsible for my actions because, once I was away from home, no one would be there to bail me out if I got into trouble. He told me that if I engaged in illegal behaviors and got caught by the law, he would not step in to help. Hearing this made a strong impression on me. It was clear he expected me to take my responsibilities seriously.

He also reminded me that if I were to get a girl pregnant, I would have to take care of her and the child, which could derail my life plans. His message was tough but necessary. His own discipline and adherence to these values shaped my understanding of right and wrong. I couldn't imagine misbehaving after such serious discussions.

As a boy, I understood that the lessons regarding responsibility and caution applied equally to my female peers. If a girl received a similar education from her parents, it’s likely she would also be motivated to act responsibly and avoid unplanned pregnancies.

However, today’s parenting styles have shifted significantly. Many parents now prioritize open communication, flexibility, and adaptability in their approach. While these methods have their merits, I often wonder if they are effective in our increasingly complex society. The world has changed, making it more challenging for children to navigate their choices.

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Children today are heavily influenced by what they see online, particularly on social media. They spend more time interacting with online content than they do engaging with their parents. This disconnect can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of guidance regarding essential life lessons.

Moreover, in countries like Nigeria, many parents are preoccupied with finding ways to make ends meet due to economic challenges. This struggle can result in a lack of emotional and psychological support for their children. Without adequate attention and orientation, children may not receive the guidance they desperately need.

In a situation where my daughter got pregnant while trying to gain admission to the university, I would feel deeply hurt. However, I believe that through traditional parenting methods, such a scenario is unlikely. If it did happen, I would accept it as God's will and focus on providing her with the psychological support she needs to find her way back on track. I believe in offering second chances and that people can learn from their mistakes.

If, unfortunately, my daughter were to repeat the same mistake, I would help her take responsibility for her actions. I would have to endure the pain and disappointment, knowing that consequences are a part of learning and growing up. Ultimately, it is essential for children to understand that their actions have real-world consequences.

While today’s parenting styles are different, the foundation of discipline and authority laid down by parents in the past still holds valuable lessons. Traditional parenting methods instill caution, responsibility, and respect for cultural heritage. As parents, we need to find a balance that helps shape our children into responsible adults while also adapting to the modern world in which they live. Open communication is crucial, but it should be complemented by clear expectations and guidance to help children navigate a complex society.

If we aim to raise responsible future generations, a blend of traditional values and modern parenting techniques may be the key to success.

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