When Competition Builds, Not Breaks

I remember when I was in secondary school, there were two friends in my class who were always topping in their studies. It was obvious they were competing with each other and also, helping one another. I do watch how they teach themselves, and what one does not know, the other will teach and vice versa. They were among those who did well in school then.

Competition is something good. In fact, I believe competing with oneself can be the best thing ever because it calls for growth and improvement. The reason we compete with each other is because we want to aim better. We want to achieve something we've determined in our hearts.

Competing with each other is a form of having an accountability partner who would watch our growth, constructively give feedback and ensure we are getting better.

Competition can be healthy as it's necessary for growth, innovation, creativity and personal improvement. It enables an individual to aim better, not to stretch oneself beyond their capacity, but to grow. It pushes one to set goals, focus on them and work harder.

Competition is just like watching someone achieve something, and you also are eager to become better at it, so it calls for you to put in your best efforts, challenging yourself that you can do it, and so, with encouragement, you work hard to get better at it.

Healthy competition is a form of enthusiasm because as you watch yourself grow, you feel better. It leads you to being creative to try something new which leads to better solutions. One thing about this competition is that it's borne out of admiration for others' strengths, and you also want to be like them while developing your strengths, too.

I had two friends in the university and we stood together like sisters. The three of us made it a duty to compete together healthily. After lectures, it's either we stay back in the school or visit one of each other's houses, where we will teach ourselves what we've learnt and things we don't understand. It was always teamwork, and it was easier for us to always excel in each semester and level.

Our friendship grew stronger, and our competition among ourselves was a healthy one. We studied together for exams and many times, we tend to sit together in the hall except when we were arranged according to our matric numbers, but on days we weren't seated together, we were sure of smashing our papers excellently because of how we competed together to study and ace our results, and glory to God, we all graduated with good grades.

This is a kind of healthy competition everyone should strive for. But as it's with a healthy competition, so we have an unhealthy one.

When your motive is all about outsmarting the other person or trying to overdo it due to envy, then it's a toxic competition which one needs to spot immediately as that can ruin things.

When you start to feel anxious, jealous or inadequate, like everything you are doing isn't enough and trying to compare your achievements to another, thinking they are doing better than you, it's time to check your motive because it's a toxic competition which is also unhealthy.

When the competition has turned to what you feel you must win at all costs, even if it hurts others. When it's all about manipulation or sabotaging another person or the most common one, gossiping about them in a bad way, such a competition becomes unhealthy and one thing it does is take away your happiness and peace of mind. At that point, you don't see the good in what others do but when it comes to yours, you feel you are better.

How then do you stop such toxic competition?

One thing we need to focus on is our lives and health. Whatever goes wrong, it also affects our peace of mind. An important part of stopping this is checking our motives. Am I trying to prove a point or to feel superior, or am I trying to improve myself? Your response would help you to adjust yourself and become better.

Another important aspect is taking a break. If you feel too overwhelmed or burned out in the process of competition, it's okay to take a break. You don't have to smash those goals all at once. It's a gradual thing, and you should also rest to get yourself back to functioning better.

Finally, celebrate others' wins. Be grateful for others and also appreciate your little wins. When you feel grateful and are also supportive of others' achievements, it helps you break free from the cycle of envy. Remember, competition shouldn't be overstretched; set your boundaries and limit exposure to overly competitive environments.

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_{Images' source: Meta Ai}