My Journey of Forgiveness and Forgetting

I thought I wouldn't write on this topic again because I recently wrote about forgiveness, which can be found here. I couldn't resist the urge not to write on it again. particularly sharing my experience.

A friend posted on her status days ago that once someone offends her, that will be the end of it, and even such a person won't have the time to "how are you?" into their lives anymore. I replied and said Thank goodness that God isn't a man, because the world would have ended a long time ago. We sin, go to God, and He still accepts us.

First, I would say that forgiving is something easier to do, especially if you are in Christ. Do you know why? This is because the scripture confirms that human effort cannot produce good results pleasing to God. Talking about forgetting, though it is not easy to forget what they did to us, it does not mean we shouldn't be friends again if they choose to.

I have been hurt in the past, mostly in relationships. I was deceived by several guys because I didn’t realise I needed a deeper relationship than the world’s. I leaned only on my understanding, trying to please every guy that came my way, and all I got in return was disappointment. I felt hurt so much that I had vowed never to forgive them. Every year, I keep remembering the hurt they did to me because of the memories that kept playing out in my head, and for that, I would always curse them.

There were times I was naked very early in the morning to place curses on guys who had offended me because I thought that worked better, according to what people said. Little did I know I was hurting myself more, depriving myself of happiness and finding peace within me. It wasn't until I gave my life to Christ and learning about the life of Jesus Christ, that I decided to release everyone in my heart and move on.

Do you want to know something? I forgot the pains they brought into my life, even though I could still remember what they did. This doesn't mean that if they show up again, I wouldn't associate with them, but not as before. I allowed Jesus to heal my wounds, and He gave me a new heart of love and forgiveness.

I came to realise that there is nothing new in this world. If we say we've been hurt so much that it's hard to heal from, did you know what Jesus went through, even at the cross? It was enough for Him not to forgive at all, but He did when He said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). Sincerely, it takes the grace and mercy of God for us to be able to forgive and forget no matter what people do to us.

This is because the battles of life aren't physical but spiritual, and we must learn to face them using the word of God. Everything that was done to us in the wrong way has been done to people in the past. While some choose the right path of forgiveness and forgetting the pains, others choose not to, and they are locked in the bondage of their hearts.

A Yoruba adage says, if we don't learn to forget the past, we won't have friends to play with, and that's the truth. One thing we should remember is that, for whatever wrong people have done to us, we have hurt someone in the past, too, even if we believed we've changed. And for them to forgive and forget everything we've done to them, we should learn to do the same thing, too. Most times, not because of them but for our benefits.

Forgetting does not mean one should allow such things to happen again. We can only pick lessons from them. It is the lesson we learn from them that makes us stronger because no matter what, when we do not forget, it keeps haunting us. Instead of practising love even to people like them, we won't, and that can be dangerous and even hinder us from receiving God's blessings. If God could erase our past sins and still embrace us when we go to Him again and again, who are we not to do the same thing? The Bible says, Love them that persecute and hurt you. To the world, it is hard, but not for those in Christ.

Let Christ heal us, and it is only then that we can have new hearts of joy, love and peace. It's even better to forget completely, allowing a new life to breed in you.

Imagine a lady who was betrayed by a guy in an eight-year relationship. Though it might hurt, when she lets in the love of Christ, He will bring someone who values her, and that alone will make her forget those years she'd wasted in the past, and this time around, with a new life lived in love and happiness.

Isn't that something cool? That's what Christ can do to such a person who comes to Him, wanting to be healed from the past.

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_{First image is mine. Second Image from Unsplash}