Lead with Intention, Not Expectation!

I have seen and read stories of how people do good to others intending to be paid back for what they have done. They do it to gain favour from the same person they have rendered help to, and in most cases, they would want you to be under their control because they helped you, so, you must do their bidding. I have had a share of this too and it was something I and my sisters had to iron out some while ago and stood on our stance that we weren't helped by you to get back from us or feeling entitled. God only used you to help us and if you don't help, someone will do it. That's life!

I used to say to those around me who have such a mindset that you have to lead with intention, not expectation. This means that when you serve or help people, do it with a pure mind/intention and never expect to be favoured by the same person. When you are expecting because you have helped someone, you will always be disappointed and be disgraced especially when you are going too far with it.

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Like a story, a staff told me which I have read something similar, too. He read that a guy took care of a young girl till she graduated from the university and when the lady became a lawyer and while the guy was into bricklaying, she denied him and said she doesn't have anything to do with an illiterate. Meanwhile, the guy had the intention to marry her, that is his reason for helping her to such a stage in life.

What came to my mind as a question was "How did both of them define their relationship in the first place?" Was it a 'give and take' something in that kind of situation? The guy's intention was obvious, which was to marry her when she finished school but when the lady saw he wasn't her type, she had to do what she did by disappointing the guy. In some scenarios, a lot might happen whereby the one who was disappointed would do something bad to the other person and that's it. There was a story like that where the lady was the one disappointed and she caused madness on the guy who betrayed her.

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You see, when it comes to helping someone, you don't do it to get it back from the same fellow or do it to gain popularity, fame or whatever you are aiming for. Intention is very important as that should be why we are helping people. It should be something that comes from our hearts to do and not something you expect back because you will surely be disappointed and disgraced.

I see people helping other people and would want to be filmed so those who watch it could applaud and praise them for practising humanity and gaining followers. There is nothing wrong in filming a generous act done by you but it becomes wrong when all you ever wanted is to be filmed and want people to know you are doing something good. If it's someone filming you unknowingly and the video was uploaded without your knowledge, it's a different thing and that means you didn't do such a help with the wrong purpose, and that is acceptable.

There was a time when my pastor had to announce one of the members who supported the church with some money, he said something that even though the person didn't want her name to be mentioned as she wanted to be anonymous, my pastor still went ahead to mention her name. That, to me, is a good deed being done with the right intention and not to be seen as famous for it.

One thing we should realise is that when you intend to get in return what you gave out and it doesn't come from your heart, such help is useless and does not make meaning unless it's done from the heart where you don't expect to be favoured or seen by people. Also, we need to understand that the one you are giving to might not appreciate what you did to them when it's seen as a way to get back from it.

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When it comes to rendering help, giving to charity or even volunteering to dedicate your time to something either at your work, in your community or anywhere, intention matters a lot more than the act itself. The act is meaningless if it doesn't come from a pure intention which is to do it willingly and never expecting anything in return, but having the belief that it is God who rewards and not man.

This is why when I realise you are doing something only to gain something back from me, then I see it as an eye service thing and not one that comes from your heart. Though I would feel sad about it, when it benefits me, especially knowing it's something I need, then I don't care with which intention you bring it to me, that is left between you and God and even your conscience. Or do you think I would reject a refrigerator being given to me with the giver's intention of gaining popularity or fame? 😀 No, I would accept it while I leave you to your fake intention.

No one should do something for the sake of getting back because you helped, but to help and give to charity just because you are willing to do it which stems deeply from your heart. That's the greatest form of help being rendered.

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^{Images were originally taken by my sister from the USA}