Good or Bad: What Really Shapes a Person's Character?

The concept of nature, nurture, and chance has changed the narrative in the debate on why, despite parents' efforts in bringing up an individual, such a person still turns out to be good or bad. Why is this so? Should we say that the answer lies in one of these factors or a mix of all three? In this post, we will delve into this thought-provoking topic by the Hive Learners community, sharing my ideas about it.

Nature, Nurture, Chance - a toss of the dice.

Nature, in its simplest meaning, is the inherited traits that influence how a person behaves, thinks, and feels, which are seen as innate rather than learned. For example, an individual's tendency to become good or bad may be influenced by the genes they inherit from their parents. Another one is when a child inherits a high potential for intelligence from their parents.

This is why you see a child who exhibits a certain trait, people will say, "You behave just like your mother," "Your father has this temperament you are exhibiting." So this is something passed down from parents to their children, who then grow up with it through nurturing to fully develop.

Nurture encompasses traits exhibited from the environment, family upbringing, and social influence. For example, in the Yoruba home, a child is taught some basic morals like greeting politely their parents and elders. He or she learns how to treat people, respect them, and say "thank you" and "please" because they have been taught by their parents or those they live and interact with around them.

Another example is a child raised in an English-speaking home would be made to communicate in English and such like that. Combining these two, it's like a young boy who is born (nature) with a personality to get angry easily, but his parents teach him (nurture) to become calm and patient in situations instead of being aggressive. Such a boy will grow up to become a good person because he has been trained and disciplined to act in a good way.

Chance - a toss of the dice

This talks about the unpredictability of human behaviour. It's always shocking to see children born into a dysfunctional and unloving home who grow up to become good, while those who are given all the world's treatment of love, care and resources grow up to become bad in society.

This is to show that no matter how much effort is put into nurturing an individual, sometimes, life is unpredictable, and everything happens by luck. For example, it is believed that twins born on the same day and by the same parents can never exhibit the same character. While one grows up to be kind, responsible, and calm in their community, the other becomes the 'black sheep' of the home, struggling with various wrongdoings.

But they both received the same treatment and upbringing. Why did it turn out this way, you may ask?

This is where freewill, personal choices, and circumstances beyond parents' control come into play. Just like a child, when he grows up, starts moving around with peers who try to influence him positively or negatively, he has to choose which is best for him. At this point, the parents may not know what is going on outside since they can't be everywhere around them until they are back home.

Another circumstance is when a child who is raised with kindness and respect at home but is still influenced by hateful words on social media or among peers, finds it hard to share their worries with their parents. So they nurse the feeling in them until they grow up to start exhibiting that unruly behaviour and become bad people.

This is where the turn of events happens, and you see a child blaming his parents for not giving time for him, but using excuses of work and business, even though every other thing is being provided for him.

Can parents shape who their children become?

In the best way, the truth is, parents cannot do everything on their own without allowing the power of God to do the rest. No matter what and the amount of effort put into making things work out well, sometimes it is beyond their human capacity and strength.

This also calls for some factors to be considered, too. They are;

• The need for parents to show love and guidance to their children to the maximum level, without any form of preferential treatment.
• Teaching them empathy and responsibility.
• Ensuring and assuring them of being available for them to share their worries and concerns, and not to neglect or stop them from speaking their minds.
• They should become healthy role models to their children. It is not enough to instruct them to do what they say only but what they do. Their words must correspond with their actions.
• Lastly, the support from communities like schools and churches must be strong and not leave the whole responsibility to the parents alone.

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_{Images Source: Chatgpt}