With Friends
I think I have a problem, one that I really don't even know the name for it, so I would rather just explain it to you guys and hopefully someone in the comment tells me what it's called, that is if it does have a name.
For a while now, I've noticed that as time goes on, I tend to want to interact less with people because I feel like I wouldn't have anything to say to them or I wouldn't find having any conversation with them to be interesting but then I would have to pretend to be interested to not be rude.
Earlier today, I was seated outside with a friend of mine and we both were having conversations about nothing in particular and everything was fine. But then I spotted another friend of ours and he was walking up the stairs towards us, and immediately I had pulled out my phone and pretended like I was having a call until he eventually left.
And as if that wasn't enough, after he left, we had seen someone else that we know walking downstairs and I had immediately hid myself because I didn't want them to see me and then walk upstairs to try to have a conversation. While all this was happening, the guy I was seated with was watching me and probably thought I was crazy because I couldn't explain properly how I was feeling.
The reason why I feel this might be a problem is because I'm not hiding because I don't want to talk to anyone (I mean there was someone there with me that I was already speaking to), I just felt like I would be kinda uncomfortable being around those people at that time, which is very strange because these are my friends, people that I do hangout with often.
For a minute I felt it was anxiety until I had to look up the meaning again just to be sure and I don't think it's that. The closest explanation I can give is me not feeling their vibe at that moment, hence not wanting to talk to them...but even that explanation feels like bullshit to me.
So I'm just going to leave it to you guys and hope that someone out here has felt something like this before and probably have a better understanding of it because I hate feeling this way. I hate having to hide from people that I know just because I'm scared of having a conversation with them that I'm not interested in.
Hehe, that pressing of phone part was very relatable, it would be much better if you even had your earphones with you, it usually happens to Introverts.
As an Introvert I am always very comfortable with my inner cycle of friends,I can spend a lot of time talking with them, but when someone I don't know comes in, I get uncomfortable, my peace mechanism will be triggered hehe.
Trust me there is so much noise outside, we find solace in peace and quiet.
Many of the few that make it to the list of our friends should be very grateful.
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You are not paying hide and seek game with anyone and so I think you need to be confident. If you don't want to speak, then leave the place saying hi.
What if I'm comfortable where I'm at and don't feel like leaving, but they keep on talking to me?