The Uncertainty of the Future

_{photo by Emile Guillemot}

When I first graduated from the University, I remember feeling some kind of way, there was this feeling of uncertainty on what next I was expected to do. And the reason I felt this way was because all my life, I have always known what came after what.

My life was like a textbook and I was going chapter after chapter. I knew that after I was done with primary school, that high school was next, and after that, the university was next. I knew that I had to go to church every Sunday and go to my mom's shop on Monday. All of these stuff were non-negotiable, it was either I did it or I did it.

And no matter how I hated some of these stuff back in the day, knowing what came next made me feel like I wasn't entirely useless or just wasting time, because there was always something to do, a life schedule.

I didn't realize how important having that feeling was until the day I graduated, that was when I asked myself the "what next" question. And yes, I know I still have a year of service for my country but that feels like the final boss in a video game, and I know that the moment I'm done conquering that boss, I have to quickly make up my mind on what new exciting game I want to play next.

Thinking about it is scary and could sometimes lead to depression because you do not want to disappoint the people who are looking up to you and so, the pressure gets to you and you find yourself over thinking a lot.

Sometimes, these situations could lead someone into doing certain things they normally wouldn't do, like drugs, alcohol and the likes.

But as bad as all of that might sound, it is times like this that could either make or break a man, because the very next step he takes could determine the rest of his life.

Right now, I can only hope, pray and work hard towards coming out victorious because that is all that matters.