Money and Respect
Most times, the difference between having a good woman and a bad one is money.
I apologize if that first sentence got you upset, but growing up as a kid, we used to hear these things but never really thought much about them, probably because at the time we felt they were none of our business due to how young we were then.
But time went by and we're grown now, and all of a sudden what we didn't deem important then is currently what we're going through.
I have this friend of mine who met this girl four years ago, and they both began dating. At the time, she had a job, but it wasn't one that was paying well. So whenever she came around his place, he wouldn't foot the bill for everything (mainly for the food they ate and occasionally her hair and other little stuff) because it wasn't a problem, and he knew it was his job to do that.
As time went on, she quit her job and had to get another one; then she quit that one too and got the one that she's currently working at. It's been four years now that they've been dating, and during those four years, according to my friend, while it seemed like she was progressing and doing better with every new job she got, he was doing the opposite.
And all of a sudden he found himself in a situation where he couldn't afford to do things he used to do for them anymore. They now had to share bills, and there were even days when she had to foot the whole thing herself.
Now, he's a man, and he feels some kind of way about these things when they happen, which is why he would always tell her how thankful he is that she was filling in for him now that he was struggling. There were days when he would be with us (the boys) and wouldn't shut up about how much he loves his girl and how she was the one feeding him and stuff.
And we were happy for him. Many of us were even jealous because most ladies around here nowadays are only interested in taking and would leave you the moment you start looking like a liability.
Well, to cut the long story short, I had a conversation with him recently, and apparently his sweet, loving lady has turned into something else for a while now. According to my friend, she no longer respects him, nor does she act like she cares about him.
To him, it feels almost like due to the fact that she has been providing for him, she no longer sees the need to be respectful because she's no longer getting anything from the relationship. And that made sense because money makes people comply, be they men or woman.
And the moment people realize that the money is no longer there, they no longer respect you. And most men don't know this, especially when in a relationship. This is why when they go broke and they see their women acting disrespectfully, they endure and just wait until they get back on their feet so that they can dump her and move on with their lives.
To some of them, this isn't wickedness; they're just scared of going broke again and having to live through the same torment with the same woman. all over again.
This is a really interesting perspective. I believe a strong relationship survives even when the money flow changes. That's what I have seen my parents doing.
That's how it should be, but it's not always the case.
Do you think your friend deserve respect? I don't think so. I want to know what is his contribution in this relationship a in recent time. Let me see it from different perspective. Your friend started to depended on her for finance. Do you think it's ok? Does your friend respect her actually? I don't think so, at least in that case he could try to be better with time. Isn't it ridiculous when a person says his beloved is not respecting him when he doesn't have self respect? It's not for the money and I also want to suggest the lady to free from such kind of of shameless person.
As a debater It's my habit to see things from different perspective and I choose to share the perspective here although I don't know the whole situation. Do you think if there is anything wrong with this perspective?
So you're saying he doesn't deserve respect because he recently hasn't been contributing?
Does that mean that when he starts financing everything again like he was doing in the past before his financial issues, he can start disrespecting her too?
Because from your logic, it means the poor person in the relationship doesn't deserve any respect..yes?
Recent means. Can you limit the time frame? I am sure such a thing doesn't happen within a few weeks.
She is self-dependent, and I guess she doesn't need your friend's money. I am sure she will break up for sure when your friend starts to disrespect her.
Your friend wants to carry on such a relationship where his partner doesn't respect him. Don't you think it's shameful enough? A relationship without respect is kind of a joke to me. How can you expect respect for such a person who doesn't give respect to himself?
It's not only about the finances. It's about the mentality. Your friend can't give her the sense of security that he will do better in the upcoming days.
If I were in your place, my suggestion would be "Make money, show how capable you are, and earn respect by your own effort" rather than giving sympathy to him.
Ohh okay.. I think I get what you're saying now. That is, rather that be in a relationship that he can't afford, he should work hard, make money and earn the respect he so much desires.
Hmm. I am not against love, but when without respect, is there any love actually? Again, her action already give him the bitter feeling, and It's not going to heal easily either. Things will end up even, actually. He is just delaying the process and losing his respect. As a man, I believe that self-respect is the most important thing.