Don't forget the lessons
Forgive and forget are two words I'm sure we're all familiar with because everyone here has either been asked to forgive and forget or you've asked someone to do the same, especially when we get wronged by someone else. To some, it's a very good advise, as sometime, we do need to let go and not hold a grudge but lately, experience has taught me that while it may be a good idea to forgive, it's never a good one to forget.
Recently, someone I had considered a friend had wronged me and while I was explaining the situation to someone else, they had asked me a question that kinda shut me up. They had ask "Well isn't that how he normally behaves, why are you surprised?"
The reason why that question had shut me up was because they were right, this wasn't the first time that person was doing something like that, neither was it the second. But everytime they did that, I would approach them, tell them how unhappy I was with their behavior and then I just move on like nothing happened.
The moment I'm done talking to that person about what they did that didn't sit right with me, I tend to forgive and forget. To me, everything goes back to normal, almost like nothing happened, until later in the future when I find myself getting hurt by that same person for doing that same thing that I had earlier told them I didn't like.
Now if I had simply forgiven them and didn't forget, I would have prevented that same stuff from happening again. Unfortunately, I've come to realize that I'm not built that way, at least not yet, I tend to forgive and forget even when I don't want to.
And this is probably because I'm a simple person, it's either I'm holding a grudge against you or I'm not. I can't do both at the same time and to me, not forgetting what that person did to hurt me is as much as still holding a grudge.
Sadly, I've been made to understand that I do need to learn to be able not to forget or else I will keep on dancing to the same music from the same people over and over again.
I don't think it's necessary to forget and forgive anyone else unless it disturbs you peace. If you have the intention to take revenge, then I think it's good to forget and forgive the person but don't forget the lesson you learned from it. Whatever, I said till now are philosophical. Lets talk something real.
Nobody forgets and forgive anyone. The difference is some people want revenge and some people don't.
I actually do forget, at least for a little while.. And I say that because I don't always have that thing on my mind when I see that person.. So that to me is forgetting, even if it's temporarily.