A Moment I'm Not Proud Of
You know how every now and then our brain does this thing where it reminds us about certain moments in our past, moments that when remembered makes us cringe...well my brain does it too and although I appreciate the fact that it also makes sure to forget them as quickly as it remembers it, there's this one particular moment that I wasn't proud of but wouldn't exactly classify as a cringe moment that has just refused to leave my mind.
It's the one time where I knew hundred percent that what I did wasn't right but also didn't apologise for it, partly because it wasn't a big deal (or it didn't feel like it was a big deal to me) and also because I didn't know how to bring up the issue to even begin apologising for it.
So this happened four years ago and I know that because that was the year my friend and I lived together as roommates, before eventually moving to seperate rooms later that year to live by ourselves. Well, on one faithful day, I, my roommate and a mutual lady friend of ours was in the room when the electricity was restored and my roommate immediately got up to turn on my laptop that we mainly only use for movies at the time.
Now this wasn't something strange because like I said, it wasn't the first time we had used that laptop to see movies, and at the time, it actually was looking like that was the only purpose that we required of that laptop. But on that faithful day, I don't know what happened but the moment he got up to turn on the laptop, I got infuriated and immediately said some words out loud that weren't exactly directly at him, but everyone in the room knew that he was the one I was referring to.
I had uttered the words "That laptop is not a television" in a manner and tone that suggested that I was upset, and the moment those words left my mouth, the vibe in the room changed immediately. My roommate turned off the laptop and went back to pressing his phone, while our lady friend waited a few more minutes (probably not to make me feel like she left because of me) before heading to her room.
The next day when I woke up and remembered that whole thing, I felt terrible about it and immediately knew that what I did that night was wrong. Unfortunately, I never got to apologise about it because my friend/roommate never held it against me. He never said a word about that day, but instead pretended like it never happen.
Ever since then, that day has refused to leave my mind.