The Peace I Found In Solitude

Change can be scary. It can even feel depressing at first, until you fully embrace it. The beauty of absence is only seen and appreciated after change has taken place.

Bad habits, bad relationships, environmental and mental clutter, guilty pleasures, these are the few negative things we often find difficult to let go of. But when we finally release them, we experience a deep and positive shift in our lives.

A few years ago, I was going through a difficult phase. The kind of friends I kept were fun to be with at first, until the friendship became toxic and I began to lose my sense of self.

At the beginning, everything seemed perfect. We were all about cooperation, care, and presence. We talked about skincare, aesthetics, etc. I remember making carrot and coconut oil for my skin and hair, and sugar scrubs with lemon and honey. I was the mastermind behind some of these DIY beauty ideas because at 19, I was very conscious of my appearance. I also learned a lot from my closest friend then, who was five years older than me.

But as time went on, our circle expanded and the conversations changed. We started talking about things that added no value to our lives , mostly other people’s personal matters. Funny enough, everyone in the group gossiped about one another. Whoever wasn’t around became the topic of discussion. It was very unhealthy. And since I was raised to mind my business, I didn't find it funny. I eventually became one of their gossip topics too.
I tried to fit in a few times but it just didn’t feel right. Finally, I decided to withdraw from the group.

At first, I wasn’t happy. I didn’t like who they had become, and I also didn’t like that I was now alone. For reasons I couldn’t explain I refused to make new friends. The first two weeks were very challenging, loneliness made me sad, and I almost slipped into depression. Still, I knew I had made the right choice. There was no way I could grow in that kind of relationship.

By the third week, I began to embrace my solitude. I read books, watched movies, and talked more with my family on the phone. Gradually, I stopped feeling lonely and I found myself at peace. I realized I enjoyed being alone more than being surrounded by people all the time.

During that time, I discovered myself. I learned what I was good at, what I feared, and how to work on those fears. Later on, I met new friends who inspired me in different ways. We’re all mature enough to know the kind of people we want around us. Even though we don’t talk all the time, we’re always there for each other when it matters.

I feel safe in this kind of friendship, and I’m grateful that I let go of the old one. If I had held on just because I didn’t want to be alone, I would never have known the peace that comes with solitude. I wouldn’t have discovered the importance of improving my communication or managing my thoughts. I’d still be stuck, all because of fear of the unknown.

Today, if I were to advise any teenager or young adult who’s afraid of giving up toxic relationships or scared of being alone, I’d say this: don’t be scared of the silence/absence that comes after letting go. That absence is where healing begins. It’s okay to be scared, fear is a natural feeling but don’t let it stop you. The things we think we can’t do without often keep us from real peace.
Start small. Detach one step at a time. The process may feel uncomfortable but what waits on the other side is FREEDOM, the kind that fills you with calm, clarity, and confidence. That is the beauty of silence.

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Thank you for taking the time to read.
All Images are mine.