Hi, friends!

Before I delve into my story.

Victimization is the process of inflicting harm upon someone while self-consciousness is an internal state of being aware of oneself. Now, I will be sharing my experience of the two.

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This is how I felt when I encountered this scenario at school. It was as if I would disappear and leave this planet for another planet where I would find solace. But there was no way. I had to comport myself and face the reality of the earth.

The full story

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I got admitted into the university, I did the necessary things demanded at school as a fresher. I got a hostel space and started school as a full-time student. Oh, my God! I welcome myself with excitement to the four walls of the university. In my year 1, second semester, I started having strange dreams about myself, of how cult men pursued me. I had this attack for one month and this turned into a reality.

Furthermore, while I was in the hostel, I heard some of my hostel mates shouting and screaming, thinking that it was a normal shout for girls in the hostel. I stepped out to the potter's lodge and saw a crowd of girls at the potter's lodge, fortunately, my colleagues were there and I asked them, what was going wrong. They asked for my name again, and I told them. They said, thank God o, "they came and asked for my first name and my surname". I comported myself and returned to my room and cried without them knowing what I faced before. After my roommates had gone to lectures, I called my mom and informed her of what had happened in my hostel. My parents asked me to come back to the house. I told them that I won't come back and that I want to see God prevailed in this situation. Unfortunately, those guys stabbed another girl who bears my name and took students' belongings with them. My victimization started from here. It was as if the whole world was on my head. Strange thought kept running in my heart.

Nevertheless, it didn't stop there. They came back to my hostel after two days interval still in search of me. This time around, they intruded into the student's room, room by room. Thank God my room was second to the last room before they could reach my room, policemen had surrounded the school vicinity, some of them jumped over the fence and some were arrested by police officers.

This was how they stopped intruding into the hostel. This incident created a vacuum of fear in my heart, even when walking along a road to church, school, I would have this mindset that someone was behind my back to harm me when there was nobody. Here, I was conscious of myself. If two or more guys were behind my back, I would be melted inside as if they would come and harm me. I didn't go to social gatherings and I didn't attend any church vigil unless I went early.

My self-consciousness was in check, during that incident, and I didn't go with my friends again. I was gripped with fear, perplexed, and I felt discouraged. I started having wrong intentions and reasoning. In the midst chaos, God came through for me. I was covered, protected, and made new in the process.

This is my story of being victimized by the wrong people who came to steal my life and being conscious of where I was. It was scary and disheartening.

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Today, I'm free, I am no more working in fear, and no victimization.

This post is in response to the #juneinleo prompt, victimization, self-consciousness

Thank you for reading through.

I love, I care, and I forgive

I remain @peckypeace

Posted Using InLeo Alpha