Honoring My Worth: Exiting Places That No Longer Fit

For a very long time, I have been present in spaces that no longer suit me, areas where the atmosphere is heavy, the smiles are few, or the vibe is overly suffocating to my growing. It was a really draining job and a friendship in which I lose and a mental conscientiousness that keeps me going back to the past version of me. Most of the time, I have come to the 'self-love laps' through the painful experiences of life. Self-love, most of the time, through painful experiences, requires one to get out of such rooms ones have outgrown.

There was a time when I was so accustomed to the known that I wouldn't let it go even if it was harmful to me. The fear whether it were that of change, loneliness, or the unknown had such a seller power over me that I would still be in my old places. I used to deceive myself into believing that I am capable of solving the problem and then I would be reducing myself. By not leaving, I was extinguishing my light, and it was like I was attempting to insert a puzzle piece into the area that it is not intended for. I never got a match, no matter how zealously I tried.

Self love is about recognising one's worth and truly expressing it. Practicing self love doesn't only entail uttering 'I deserve better' but also actually seeking it. Sometimes goodbye is an unassuming decision not to visit a place again rather than a noisy, theatrical departure.

Firstly, it is matching what you have been and who you are becoming and using your energy to those places. Having it is like having the belief that you are worthy of attaining such a place that will uplift and challenge you.

One of the main reasons for me to end the friendship was the first and the hardest moment when I had to say goodbye. The past was ours to build, but the situation had changed. I kept shooting words at her like arrows, but she was barely answering, and our talks seemed to be about a me that was no longer there.

Guilt was like a parasite inside me how can I betray a partner who has always been there for me? That said, by staying, I would have been untrue to myself. So, I took the plunge for myself, leaving not with resentment but with thanks for the nice and with the acknowledgment that it was not serving me anymore.

Leaving is not a sign that you don’t have the courage it is that you do. It is admitting that you grow and there will be new rooms for you when you release some. I can recall the job I walked away from that was charming on the outside but was a total nightmare from the inside. It took me a long time to decide and I was very scared of making the wrong choice, what if I didn't find a better one? But the moment when I quit was the moment I felt like being set free. Now, I have a job that I love and it’s also in line with my goal. It hasn't been easy, but it was necessary.

On learning to trust this journey, I am still taking the road. Some days I feel like I need to second guess my choices. However, each time I left the rooms that I didn't want to be in, I have come across those that fit me rooms full of people that energize me, access to things that nurture me, and moments that confirm my value. The biggest contribution of self love is the capacity to make the decision of staying or leaving in line with the places where you find most comfortable expressing and celebrating your true self.

I have decided that I will not stop going away from places that are not mine anymore. I shall think that I deserve such places that are like home, that encourage me to be more, and that reveal the person I am becoming. By breaking away from the places that I am no longer meant to be in, I am not merely shutting the doors I am letting new ones into a life that mirrors my value by sufficiently honoring myself.

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