LET THEM EXPRESS THEMSELVES.

8 days ago

To date, my sisters still tell me that they pity the man who will Marry me, whereas the man who wants to marry me is saying I'm too quiet and I allow people to step on me so freely and I do nothing about it. They said I was too audacious as a lady and those experiences also brought down my self-esteem each time and it became so bad I became a people pleaser, they would say a girl child is not supposed to say this or do this, I know I have bad character but if I tell you one-quarter of things I face or things ladies face from where I come from you will be shocked.

I'm not in support of divorce and will never be in support unless on special grounds. Special grounds like cheating and wife/ husband battery, yeah, I stand solidly behind that; if your spouse turns you into a Punching bag, it is best you leave as a whole before they carry your body out in a body bag (Mind you this applies to both males and females, some men are facing hell) that's by the way. In a compound where I lived before, my former roommate had an issue with her boyfriend. he beat her up, and she broke up with him, only for one lady to come up to advise her.

The lady was like, "Since this is the first time, forgive him." Like, who are you, and where did you come from? Meanwhile, this beating has been going on for a while, and then she proceeded to tell a story of how her own child would be dragged from her boyfriend's place down to the mum's place and beaten in the mum's presence, he would smash her phone even though it's the latest iPhone (because he bought iPhone 13 for her one time) and the next week they would be back and he will buy her a new phone. I just screamed, God forbid; my mum can be annoying but will never allow that. Even my sisters, who say I never behave like a cultured girl, will join and fight for me.

Now, these stories might be on different grounds, but they are all pointing to one thing: teach your children to be able to speak up but not be arrogant or insulting. I don't see a reason why a child, particularly a girl child, wants to do something, and since it doesn't rhyme with your beliefs, it's automatically evil. The same man they are saying I pity who would marry you is the same person helping my self-esteem because it was so trampled upon that I can no longer speak up for myself. For one, I don't insult people. In fact, I hardly do it as a joke, but they have stereotyped the female gender to always keep quiet even if this whole thing is killing them inside.
I appreciate the way my parents raised us but there was no freedom of expression, we were especially me always made to keep quiet and just say sorry.