The Beginning of something

The transitioning stage of life is scary,depressing even. I always knew life after 18 was a huge mess or not? And that's why I was never really excited to turn 18. Going through some random reels on Instagram and I am reminded again how quickly the years have passed, how old I am, how old the tv shows I enjoyed with my legs crossed on the parlour couch is. I miss it. I miss the lack of worry of tomorrow or the future. I miss the peace, I miss the nonchalant behaviour because there was actually nothing to work hard for or be worried about. But now, thinking about it, I wish I had worked harder to find that online job I was searching for when I was 14, I wish I didn't give up on that scholarship or on schooling abroad, I wish I didn't abandon those skills I was trying to learn. Life is crazy because we only live once and no amount of regrets or wishes can take us back or let us re-live the past.

I really love the month August. And not because it's the month I was born or anything and definitely not because it's usually a school-free month(okay,I might be lying here). August sounds beautiful, I feel beautiful things happen in this month. Okay guys,I am definitely tripping and straight up lying. I love August because it's the month I was created! And it's beautiful too.

Most people would be eustatic about being legal. Well,I am not. I can feel the extra responsibilities already and my parents might not mind me wasting away being useless sometimes at home but I mind and think alot about being useful to myself and people around me in the future.

One thing I'm grateful for throughout these past years of my life is not abandoning drawing. Even if I might not draw everyday or every month, I am truly grateful I still know my way around with a pencil and an eraser. Atleast I'm not completely useless in one thing. The aim now is to be useful! And successful too! I feel laying out these plans at a young age is really helpful and stressful. Cause at the same time applying too much pressure on yourself when you're supposed to be finding out who you are or who you want to be sounds like a bundle of yarn tangled together. Super confusing! And that would lead straight to depression, anxiety,stress, no social life. Haha and it looks like I'm describing me.

As a young unemployed useless new 18 years old female(let's not forget to add 'broke' too), all I have to say is STAY STRONG! You can cry on the way, although I highly advise against such but if your body can't take it anymore then let it release some steam. I don't mean that actually, don't stay strong. This isn't a motivational essay!

Casually just realized I have to work on my social skills, very very important. Any book recommendations for social skills upgrade? How to have a conversation with someone that'll last more than a minute? Anybody? Help please.

But then I have to be optimistic,I have to be positive and not just know that everything would go down the drain. I mean this I'm not gonna make it mindset. It is not the proper and right mindset at all! Change your way of thinking to a positive one,now! Oh I can't do this, yes you can. I'm gonna fail this, you're gonna pass that. I'm dying, you're alive. It's not possible, it's possible as hell! Fml? No fyl!(You can search Google for the meaning of these abbreviations by the way, it's not proper typing them in full at this age) Now, I'm just being a hypocrite.

My socials:(I give healthy advice)
Twitter:
https://x.com/omo_khafue?t=RUZrn-Yg_35Y3_kZSBMa4w&s=09

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_edeki?igsh=ejYwdXp1Yjl1ODYz

I wasn't sure what community to put this on. The rant, complain community seemed like a good fit but I'm not in anyway complaining. I was talking about my life and that's why I came here,to reflect:)

_{Images used do not belong to me. They're screenshots from Twitter.}