A drift in friendships.

I wish to make it a habit to take more pictures this year. I suck at that, I suck at capturing memories and I hate that I suck at it. Earlier this week, me and one of my best friends decided to hang out after months of not seeing each other. The thing about having best friends where you live with your parents and y’all going somewhere far for college is the horrible realization that sooner or later, a drift forms between the friendship.

Our friend group was and hopefully is just me and two other males. I was about to mention their names but I think I’m just going to leave it ambiguous. Alright, these two male friends have been friends since they were 10 and I waltzed in when we were 15. We’ve been friends through thick and thin. Like I said earlier, I had to go somewhere far for college and so as my other friend, leaving just one of our friend going to college in the city we live at.

At first, we were sure it wasn’t going to cause a drift between us…but all of a sudden, we don’t know what went wrong. We try as much as possible to face time when there’s time and also see during the holidays but for some reasons our friend that stays in the city we live at decided to drift away. And now, I sit sometimes questioning if it’s somehow our fault, maybe we should have done better, hung out some more, called him some more.

Right now, we haven’t seen for months, i only had the opportunity to see the one that schools far from home too. Does that make me a bad friend? Us, bad friends? Hanging out without our other friend? It was weird during the meeting, although we had fun, we also missed his presence. I didn’t really think we’d grow out of our friendship like this.

It just felt like he hangs out with better people, have more fun than he did with us and he is in somewhere better. It’s a pain in my ass to think about because I always end up guilt tripping myself. But then again, i shove it down. Cause we did try to reach him, we sent multiple texts only to get aired. He started smoking more, partying more and almost never replies or answer my calls. Felt like I was low-key in a toxic relationship.

But that’s not an excuse to leave him be if he actually needed help. He’s stubborn and refuses to feel pitied. No one likes that.

And that’s just the downside about growing up. We tend to grow out of friendship, some people and I don’t like that. For some reasons, I despise it. But that’s just how life is…

Thanks for reading;)

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