The Confidence Equation: Preparation, Presence, and Public Speaking
The first time I did public speaking was when I was about 10 years old. Well, I would call it public singing instead, because I was meant to lead the school assembly in worship songs. I flopped it. For some reason, not a single song came to mind, and so I ended up embarrassing myself. On that faithful day, I made a pact with myself to never be on stage to speak or sing.
University days came, and then I had to face my fears. I either passed my oral presentations or had a dent in my results because of them. It started slowly in groups in my first few years, and then I went on to defend my experience for all three of my industrial training sessions. It became a do-or-die situation. And since I didn’t want to die—which was failing some aspects of my programme—I had to learn to be confident by all means.
Fast forward to now, and to a reasonable level, I find confidence in myself when I need to represent myself or a group I may be a part of. And it is mostly thanks to the times I spent learning how to do it during the times I faced my lecturers in presentations.
One of the few things I learned that helps me find confidence is the idea that I probably know more than the person I am presenting my case to. For example, my experience during my industrial training sessions at an automation company is mine, and I alone know exactly what it was like to be there. All I had to do was be reminded of that and to only speak of things that I truly knew, of course.
To avoid getting disoriented by potential questions I may not have the right answers to, I ensure to only dwell on the areas that I actually know for myself. You just have to resist the urge to sound smart and then look the opposite in the face of daunting questions.
I still get nervous, though. To be honest, I get nervous every time I speak to people, especially strangers. But then, I refused to be embarrassed or called shy. And then I would try to speak at a pace that allows me to think on the go.
In conversations with people, especially new acquaintances, I am learning the art of connecting. Striking a meaningful and engaging conversation with people isn't always the easiest thing to do. Something I'm learning about it is that one doesn't have to try so hard. With some level of attentiveness, willingness, and a sprinkle of vulnerability, something can happen.
A conversation I had recently turned out to be something I now look forward to. And, prior, I was blank on what the call would be about, as I had very little information about this individual and reaching out was important. Thankfully, she had the right energy, and a nice conversation happened. And all I had to do was be genuinely interested and flow.
Surely, to have a good conversation, the other person must have workable energy to begin with. Lifeless responses aren't going to take anybody nowhere, as are non-engaging talks. But I digress.
A few days ago, my community development service [CDS] group set out to a secondary school nearby to enlighten the kids there about their environment and keeping it. Environmental Sanitation is the CDS group I belong to.
Before the enlightenment programmeme began, I was asked to address the students about our purpose, the importance of the programmeme, and the order of the day. Anyone else could have done it, but I didn't mind. However, I wasn't exactly prepared.
“They're just a bunch of excited kids. What's the worst that can happen? They'd only find my speech boring and maybe boo us.” I thought to myself. And so I just arranged the things to speak on and chose to be spontaneous about it, as I didn't have much time to prepare.
On getting to the stage and being before them, I could feel the enthusiasm of these kids to have us around for something way different from what they'd normally do in school. That was all the encouragement I needed. And so I fired on.
Fast forward to the end of the session, and I had a tonne of them run towards me, wanting to be a part of my group for the rest of the session. Surely, I must have made an impression and become likeable to them with how I addressed them. Then, I knew that my speech wasn't so bad after all.
The truth is, I was damn nervous at first, as I hadn't done such a thing in a very long time, but I felt that all I had to do was read their energy and interact with it. And be confident, too, of course.
I can only be confident when I truly know what I am going to talk about, though. If I am oblivious to the subject, I would immediately decline to speak if asked, or I wouldn't even choose to do so on my own either.
It's not that I am experienced with public speaking in any way. I only try to find centeredness so things do not go awry and I can make meaningful impact.
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In case of public speaking confidence is necessary and proper training or practicing helps the person better to best in speaking and interacting with others. I think the stage fear is the main obstacles but as you started to face it in you 10th year, it became an advantage for you.
Yes, man. I mean, I am not the most confident, that's for sure, but I admit that there are often way better results when one appears confident. I think you can relate. By the way, when are your final exams again?
This post just reminded me of my first public speaking 😂, Omo it was disastrous. Thank God for growth sha, am far better than before. Nice write up 👍
I think many of us must have had disastrous first times. It's from there that we learn. 😁
Yea we actually learnt from the first experience
not a single song came to mind, I know how such moments feel. Time yields indeed and you have to out race your fears just as you did in your tertiary studies.
Children love flexible learning and when you go rigid, you'll be avoided. Have had such experiences, always had some fun moments, they'll really love hearing from you.
Oh, yes. You have to be flexible with kids indeed.
I wonder. What was your first time speaking in public like for you?
can't really remember if it was first time but I did face such scenario as a kid when I stood up to answer a question. I stammered through out the process. Lols
wow, such a great and helpful post for get rid of stage fear and gain public speaking skills
Thank you for reading. ⚡
No matter how well one prepares for a presentation or a public speech..... there's still going to be flutter of butterflies when the actual time comes to act buy like you said, flowing on the energies of the listeners, staying within the borders of what is known and forming confidence is a solid code to nailing any presentation.
Oh, yes. I mean, unless I just don't care about what I am doing, that's when I may feel no iota of nervousness. I just try to maintain.
What's one thing you always try to do whenever you have to speak in public?
I look above their heads and try to drop one or two comic punch lines. Sometimes I go all out and tell them I'm nervous, it helps lower their expectations and then when I kill it, (which I usually do), they give a standing ovation and tell me how wonderful my speech was... thinking I tricked them.