Drawing the Line: A Tale of Resilience and Saying No

Boundaries. A simple yet crucial concept that is necessary to consider. What territory can truly exist without boundaries? Without distinction, there cannot be that line between things of vast differences to define boundaries.

Every day, we are learning, unlearning, and relearning. We don't always have the best answers, and one way to improve is to learn from our experiences or those of others. Boundaries, a definition of limits, guide us in navigating our ways to achieve balance between self-preservation and connection with the external world.

In the world of personal growth, understanding and respecting boundaries become a crucial aspect of developing our interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence.

Boundaries is a topic I am focusing on in my personal journey. It involves recognizing when to say no, setting limits on my time and energy, and understanding that boundaries are not walls but rather self-care measures.

Without boundaries, our lives can become blurry and lack the clarity needed to distinguish between needs, desires, and well-being from external influences. That's how other people get to stomp on what really matters to us and persuade us to do things we probably didn't want to do deep within.

What we agreed on was that I would teach physics to a class of students with two arms, A and B. I was going to handle the class all by myself and do everything for the subject alone. That includes marking their exam scripts and recording their scores in their individual report cards.

It was going to be a lot of work, considering that there were about 200 students at least. I knew that, but I felt I could cope, so I didn't object. It was going to be even harder because I wasn't going to be paid, but I already knew that.

After an entire term (or semester), the time to conduct their examinations arrived. I set their questions and forwarded them to the school's administration. The only thing I had to do during the examinations was to be present during my shifts to supervise.

A few days ago, I was on the school premises for yet another shift. And then, I met one of the school head teachers. He had news for me—one that I didn't like.

He said to me, "You'll help me mark the scripts of the final year students' physics examination and record the scores for me."

I wasn't the teacher for the final year students, and I had no business with anything concerning their academics. Yet, without prior notice, I was going to have to do it because he said so. I had to draw a line at this point.

At the time of this new update reaching me, I had not yet completed 10% of my own job concerning marking and recording.

I had already told myself one time that I hated the job. I was upset about something that time anyway, and that was why. So there was no way under good heavens that I was going to take that extra job and be "okay."

His explanation was that they had put in a teaching practice student from a university to teach for six weeks, and they had left already. And now, there's no one to handle the class and their examination scripts.

First off, it was terrible organization and planning to not account for when the teaching practice student would leave, and then just squeeze the thing into the hands of any available person.

If I had been told about such development way earlier, maybe I could have contemplated the matter. But I would decline anyway.

To now have the entire job pushed onto me, alongside the one that I had in hand already, was just borderline balderdash. Especially with the fact that I wasn't getting paid at all.

He had done this to someone else just a few days ago and succeeded. I was carrying more burdens than that other person, so I really needed to say a big No. How to handle the matter and effectively say NO was the million-dollar question, however.

I chose to play a tactful game rather than the aggressive take. The aggressive one would have likely resulted in an argument, and possibly me storming out in anger. I didn't want to deal with all that, so tactful it was going to be. Thanks to certain things that I learned from How to Win Friends and Influence People.

I waited for him to finish his talks and placing all the scripts before I started to talk. And when I started, I began with telling him how I understood his situation. He was going to have to mark them by himself without my help, most likely. I then continued by expressing my acknowledgment of how I was in the best position to help, considering that I was a physics teacher as well.

The next card to play was the sentiment game. I explained to him how I always had to travel every weekend for side jobs and that was how I could feed myself and send some things home since I wasn't paid there. And then I continued by stating that the travels and side jobs are why I was starting with my originally assigned work so late and was yet to finish at that time.

The next in line was to open his eyes to future problems for himself. I had to be honest and truthful that there was a very high probability that I may not have started by the deadline, which would cause problems for him with his superiors.

I finished by concluding that it was better that I didn't take the scripts home than to return with them undone. And then, I added that I really would never like to do anything more than I agree to, which was my original assignment.

After my court defense, he didn't say anything other than, "It's okay. I understand."

Mission Accomplished!
🎲🕹️

The mission was to cut such behavior at that point in time by setting a boundary early, preventing such future occurrences. What would happen is that if I had accepted it is that they would repeat it the next semester, and they'd be like I had done it before so it shouldn't be a problem again.