Conversations that Shape Us
How we thrive in our world today comes down to the quality of the conversations that we have. Our conversations say so much about where one is and where they are headed.
You know that popular phrase from the Bible, "Show me your friend, and I will tell you who you are?" Well, I didn't quite understand it as a kid when I first learned about it. It seemed quite absurd to say that my favourite cereal was cornflakes just by "seeing my friends." It was as I grew up, and with the teachings of elderly people around me, that I understood it much better and how important it is for one to keep in mind.
If you call a certain individual a friend, then you hold a certain level of connection with them, and in some ways, they have some influence on you.
It happens all the time. Simple things like catchphrases, for example, can easily be imbibed by someone from another person that they spend their time listening to. Emphasis on listening. The people we spend time with, hanging out, and discussing can have influences on our thought processes, decisions, and the way we react to our environment and the people in it.
Two categories of conversations that I will be talking about are conversations with people and conversations with myself. And the quality of the types of conversations in these categories can make one or mar them.
"By their fruits, we shall know them." A phrase from the Bible that throws light on the discernment of character and thoughts. Just by the things a person says, one can deduce just how they think. And with a few conversations with that person, it gets much easier to determine the way forward with them.
I am quite picky with people that I turn into friends. As much as I can be open, liberal, and friendly, deeper interactions are a more selective process for me.
"You're too secretive." Something that I have heard quite a few times. It's not that I cannot be vulnerable to a certain degree with you to have progressive conversations; it is that I am only being careful with the conversations I have by being observant about the information I divulge as well as take in.
Conversations with ourselves—something that's even deeper than those with others—are a profound and introspective journey that shapes the core of our being. It involves a continuous dialogue with our own thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, influencing what we think about ourselves and directing the course of our lives.
When a person tells me about how they feel and all, I try to say words that should comfort them. Why, then, wouldn't I do the same for myself and berate myself so much for underachieving or getting something undersirable? The choice of words matters, as they affect how we continue. The things that we say to ourselves.
With the lot of negativity in the world today, it's so easy to get sucked into it all and join in to drag oneself down. We do things like celebrate wins for a day, but wallow in disappointment for weeks when we fail. The things we tell ourselves in certain moments and the conversations we have with ourselves have so much weight in the paths we take in life.
The conversations we have every now and then shape us in ways that we may not think of. The conversations we have with people and the ones we have with ourselves. In what ways do you think the conversations you've had lately have influenced you?
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Our lives, to a large extent, are a reflection of who we hang out with. It's the same for me:
Excellent reflection. Thanks for sharing.
I'm glad we share the same views. Thanks for reading.
I think the same as you've cleverly reflected. Sometimes we have the right words to say to others who are going through a phase but when we get In a similar situation, we can't seem to find the keys to that particular word bank and withdraw encouraging words for ourselves.
To overcome this, I tried discipline and conscious self affirmation. I still falter but I'm better off than previous years.
Our friends influence us on so many levels, like eating habits, dressing, music genre, haircut or hairstyle e.t.c, hence that statement
The way we form connections is do beautiful that one cannot know for sure how it began. Choosing the persons you wish to influence or be influenced by is considered as wise.
Happy new week Jay.
This wholesome, Becky!
I love the conscious self-affirmation that you do. It's something everyone should do, quite frankly.
I appreciate this contibution, very much.
In conversations that you have with people, do you do a lot of talking or you prefer listening? I wonder.
In reply to your question, I do a bit of both actually. Take care and have a blessed new week ahead
Haha, I've had some really inspiring discussions lately. I'm a freelancer, but I have what's called "imposter syndrome". It's very difficult for me to sell myself, not only because of my lack of self-confidence, but also because of this syndrome.
But recently, I've had a lot of meetings where I've been the expert. In other words, I spent several days talking to people who listened to me because I was the only expert and they needed help.
It was an incredibly rewarding and educational experience for me. Realizing that I possessed valuable knowledge and skills that others didn't helped me begin to fight that feeling of imposture. At these meetings, I was able to share my expertise and see the positive impact of my advice on other people's projects.
But that's not all, these interactions helped me understand the importance of authenticity in communication. I've learned that, even if I sometimes doubt myself, my honesty about what I know and don't know can create a deeper connection with others. It also taught me the value of preparation; by preparing thoroughly for each meeting, I was able to answer questions confidently and provide valuable advice.
That's solid, man! Very solid. Indeed when we are true to ourselves and others around us by being honest and sincere about our strengths and weaknesses, there is that room for deeper connections. That level of vulnerability does a lot more than people think.
And, yes, for sure, it is so important ot be prepared. That helps with confidence and performance, leading on to insightful exachanges in ideas as people would see you as a valuable person.
Communication is very essential nowadays, but this past few days, I prefer having conversations with myself and reflect. There are things that I need to settle in my mind with my own thoughts, and I guess it really shapes me now.
I totally concur. I mean, how effecient and effective can one be in their conversations with other people if they are not in sync with themselves? If I may ask, how do you go about talking with yourself?