Bravery Bonds
A definition of courage that I like is that it isn't the absence of fear but the bravery to confront fears and push forward despite them. And we are always faced with situations that put us in a position to have to choose between being courageous or succumbing to our fears. And the most common way that we act courageously is by standing up to our enemies.
I like to think that our enemies can take many forms beyond just people. Enemies could be just about anything that puts us in situations where we feel threatened, challenged, or uncomfortable. So things like societal norms that restrain our freedom, personal insecurities that inhibit us from going for our goals, or even doubts that undermine our confidence.
When talking about courage, we mostly think in the direction of our enemies. It's what I think of mostly anyway. But a quote that I found when I was doing one of my regular touch typing practices had me think in the direction of friends. I found it profound and inspiring—so much so that I remembered it verbatim even after it had been wiped away for the next practice session.
Now, I didn't know who Dumbledore was until I shared the quote with a couple of people, and they made me realise that he was a character in Harry Potter. Someone made my brother and I believe that Harry Potter was a film from the pit of hell when we were kids, and so we destroyed every CD of Harry Potter then. Now I am the only one among my friends who can't relate to Harry Potter. I digress, however.
I asked a couple of friends for their insights on the quote, both online and offline. It was something I was eager to present to them, as I was looking for different angles to it as well as having thoughtful conversations with them. It was very interesting what they had to say—all of them lovely. And the more conversations I had on it, the more I loved the quote.
What good is friendship if we cannot be honest with ourselves? There are times when we feel wronged by the ones we care about. And there are times that we look from an unbiased point of view and realise that something our friend did, a relationship they're in, or a habit we get into isn't just right. What do we do in such situations as friends?
When we feel our boundaries are crossed by our friends and we keep quiet about it, it will only continue to breed an unhealthy relationship. Such would repeat itself over and over again, and then it may get to a point where we may not react properly and the relationship becomes strained.
When we know that we need to let our friends in on something that's obviously unhealthy, it's only right and true for friends to do so.
It can be delicate to discuss such matters, as it requires a delicate balance between honesty and empathy. There's a need to be truthful and point them in certain directions, but it's equally important that it be done with compassion and understanding.
The courage in standing up to our friends is putting aside any discomfort or fear of potential conflict in order to address issues that are important to our individual well-being and that of the friendship. In doing so, we should also keep in mind to be kind.
All in all, courage in general means being willing to confront difficult truths, have uncomfortable conversations, and take necessary action for our growth as individuals and for the betterment of our relationships.
As for Dumbledore, I know that I have to indulge myself in the Harry Potter films to catch up. Meanwhile, what are your thoughts on the quote?
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As I said earlier, first thing that comes to my mind when I hear that quote is setting boundaries and enforcing them no matter who you're dealing with. People have no problem calling out others who have wronged them and are not their comrades, but excercise an unwarranted restraint when it comes to doing the same to friends.
Sometimes we get so carried away by what friends allow slide in the name friendship that we completely disrespect ourselves by letting any and everything slide. In most cases, it's because of a lack of self esteem or self worth, or perhaps, extreme people pleasing.
Whichever the reason might be, it takes courage to define your ground and hold it. Sometimes that could mean having very difficult and uncomfortable conversations, or in dire cases, showing some people the door. I under normal circumstance do not advise the latter, but if that is what it takes to achieve a piece of mind, I'm all for it.
Man, you're joking. Right?
Darn right
This is a comrade of understanding!
I totally love the strong opinions you have on it. The truth is, for our self-preservation sometimes and continuity of certain relationships, difficult conversations may happen. It takes courage to have those discussions.
I have the first two Harry Potter films downloaded now. I'll watch them and catch up.
I'm still not today due to mental breakdown but here I am again, reading one to the paragraphs of your blogs which made me realize something.
Reading this part, it made me pitiful to myself because until now they were many bullies who stands along my way, envies for the things that I did and I have right now. They're also the one who made me bring to the lows of my reality which makes my anxiety and depression attacked in an unexpected situation. But as long I know and will find ways to survive against them, whatever situations I am right now, I still have to fight and not give up.
By the way, I appreciate of reading this content. Thanks a lot. 😊
And that's the spirit, fren. If we let people, uncomfortable situations, and our fears to beat us up on the inside, they'll only continue to win until we stand against them and fight.
I am glad you found this wholesome. I hope you had a dine weekend.
I'm still having a hard time until now but still, I found it. Thank you so much. 😊
You'll figure your way around it, man. I know it.
Where are you from, by the way?
Well, I'm from the Philippines.
This is my first time coming across such a quote and as I read along, I understood from your point of view what courage means truly. Same thing to me, when they talk about having courage which is not the absence of fear but being brave enough to confront fear, I used to think that it is by facing our enemies and conquering them.
Why do we have friends then if we cannot speak the truth to them? A proverb says that when two people go inside and they come outside laughing, it is because they haven´t spoken the truth to themselves, but when they come out with frowns and sad faces, the truth hits them so hard.
A lot of people are always scared of speaking the truth to their friends because they feel he or she might not talk to them again, so, they keep it to themselves and watch even if the other person is falling into a pit.
Having courage is when one can speak the truth, confront the other person and not be scared of them but do that with love and compassion.
I am usually not the kind to confront people, but I am learning better as the days go by and experiences teach me. If one just keeps quiet about their boundaries and all, there is bound to be problems in the relationship. The same goes not telling the truth to the people that we claim to love and care about.
I know that you are the kind to discuss things kindly with people when it comes to serious matters. Thank you for your insighful angle on this quote.
First off you are not the only one who doesn't know Dumbledore or Harry Potter, I'm in that boat due to a similar reason close to yours.
Secondly, the courage to stand up to or against certain limiting and toxic behaviours from friend is on a whole 'nother level.
Anything that exists to steal my peace, joy, cause me harm or difficulty, such things or people are my enemies and once they're identified, oh my, the courage to stand up to it comes upon me like an anointing 😁
I like the sound of that. Unlike you, I had to learn to be confronting when necessary. It's a good thing that you know when to speak the truth and how to. I admire that.
I have now gone to download the two films of Harry Potter to catch myself up. I really want to enjoy it and also be able to relate to certain things when people talk about them in conversations.
Lol, that's a good one Jay, enjoy the rest of the week
I hope that you're having a great week, Becky.
Yes Jay thanks for checking up on me.
Lovely quote from Dumbledore. I will keep it simple jay. I think having the courage to confront our friends is a must to do without the fear of loosing him or him as a friend. If I call you my friend, I don't romance the truth, I will gather courage to address whatever for a better understanding and in most cases, it strengthens our relationship and we understand ourselves the more
#dreemerforlife
It's a good thing to be nice and concerned about what our friends feel, but it's important to do what's best for them, even if they may not see it that way. I am glad we agree on this, Sweet Nkem.
Truth needs to be said at all cost but with compassion, as you have stated, because advising people does not really go well if you do not understand first and know the right way to approach things.
I can't be with a friend I can talk to when I see them going towards a path I know won't lead right. Why are we friends if we can talk to each other? That's just it.
Hello dearest fashionable dreemer. Happy New Day! Tuesday is here again, screams #ttt, and I hope you are sharing some of your lovely tunes with us today. Also, I hope you are ready to/had fun today. I waltzed in from #dreemport, for I am an amazing #dreemer. An awesomely made #dreemerforlife.
You know these things, BK. It's not always easy, but the least we can do at times is the right thing. I'm glad that we're on the same page. And thank you for the #ttt reminder!
Yes, it is never easy, but it needs to be done regardless of it all.
You are welcome 😁.
Now this is funny 😂, pit of hell? Oh no💔😂
I haven't come across this quote before, and I agree with it.
It's hard to stand up to your friends because you're willing to endure the pain just to keep the friendship sailing.
I've been there , and you need all the courage on this earth to confront your friend and say exactly how you feel
#dreemerforlife
If I find that person that made my brother and I believe that, I would arrest him.
You know these things between friends. I'm glad that we're on the same page.
I think it's too late now because that person is now convinced its not from the pit of hell😂😂. You guys might end up seeing the movie together and all your anger might subside😂😂.
I'm glad too🤗
This is a nice one @olujay. Its not only just confronting our friends and standing up to them. We should do that even in the work place, among families, relationships of all kinds, church gatherings. Truth is better than riches. Thanks for this awesome publish.
Oh, yes. I totally agree! You have to be able to stand up to anyone and at anytime, as long as I am truly in the right.