Connection born out of love

The topic of abuse, as emphasized as it is online, still continues to be heard of in society. There is the saying that the devil you know is better than the devil you do not know. And I think that has been a major fuelling factor in situations like these. People would rather now entertain the idea of being abused in relationships and term it 'correction born out of love', rather than leave the relationship when it becomes toxic since they have no idea how their next will be. Some people in the world of today prioritize the idea of being taken or married more than they prioritize themselves. What's so scary about being single and having your reasons for sadness limited?

This thing about abuse is even more alarming when you find out that many of the ladies who make posts about not being able to stand a man raising his voice or laying his hands on them, don't have the willpower to see what they preach through when it starts happening to them. Let me tell you why I say so. There was this acquaintance I made in my first year in the university. We met and even though we weren't so close, I knew what was there to know about her.

Few months after I met her, this girl got a boyfriend. Knowing her, and her group of friends, I knew the idea of not having a boyfriend for a while and seeing how her friends had men flocking towards them weighed her down. So, when she got a boyfriend, I was somewhat relieved and thought that if that was what she needed to feel happier, then she should get it. We kept seeing each other and about a month into the relationship, I noticed belt marks on this girl's body. I was surprised and didn't hesitate to show it. I asked her what it was, she told me she had a accident and fell from bike. I felt so sorry and sympathized with her.

Few weeks after, I noticed injuries on her body and when I asked her about it, she said she had a bus accident on her way back to the hostel. This particular story seemed suspicious but I didn't want to assume too much even though I had begun to get a hint on what was going on, having seen that her boyfriend was into drugs.

The next time, she told me it was a bike accident again and that would have been easier to believe, seeing the way the bike men around here drove like they had a porcupine shooting spines at them. But no, these marks had now gotten to her inner thighs. There was no way you were falling from a bike and getting injured in a delicate area like that, unless you fell from the bike in a split. The story she told me didn't tally with how severe her injuries appeared. Worse still, I knew this girl as someone who wouldn't hesitate to speak up and confront people when things didn't favour her in the hostel. So, why would such a no-nonsense person be condoning abuse?

I waved it off because if she was being abused, I didn't think I was the best person she would want to talk to, seeing how we both weren't so close but I was shocked when she came to me one day. According to her, she said that she noticed that I already suspected what was going on with her and since I wasn't close to any of her friends, I was her best option. She told me about how her boyfriend wouldn't hesitate to beat her when she he checks her phone and sees she likes something relating to other guys on social media. How her boyfriend wouldn't hesitate to tie her up and use as a punching bag and she'll be forced to wait out the days the injuries took to heal in a hotel while we assumed she was over, at his place. He even went as far as beating her up if her period came while she was over at his place, because that meant no sex. I was dumbfounded when I heard it all because something like that existing in this era, seemed so unreal. I then asked why exactly was she still in the relationship? She said his reason for acting that way was because he was going through tough times and she was willing to wait it out. He was never like that in the beginning. Unfavourable circumstances made him that way. *stares open-mouthed

To cut all I want to say short, I advised her to leave him but it all fell on deaf ears since she had made up her mind to stay with the guy through thick and thin. I was pissed off because why tell me if she wasn't in need of my advice. I let her be and soon enough, we went our separate ways.

You know that saying that heaven helps those who help themselves, that applies to humans too. We can only help people who are willing to be helped and that is for those who are ready to do what is necessary to liberate themselves.

This is my entry to the Hive-Ghana prompt for the week

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