All for Sanity

As much as I warm up to people very easily, one thing I’ve come to learn so far, is never to idolize them. Since making this decision, everytime someone acted out of character or did a negative thing I thought they wouldn’t do, I find myself disappointed. Never surprised. People are flawed, and even when we accept that fact, we sometimes put them on a pedestal, and believe they can’t be the type to do a certain thing. So, when they do that thing, it takes us unaware.

There was this one time I worked with a family friend at his office. This family friend whom I worked with, was a prayer advocate. He saw it as his duty, to ensure everyone participated actively in the morning prayers at the office. He sat us down every morning, quoting scriptures. This particular man was respected by so many far and near for the prayer sessions he regularly conducted. And ignorant me back then idolized him a lot. Admired him even.

Long story cut short, I got somewhat too comfortable around this man, and underestimated him. I was one to arrive at work early every day, looking forward to resting from the hassle of riding commercial transports, and putting myself in the right frame of mind to go about my daily tasks. This man always reached early too but that didn’t seem like a cause for concern because he stayed in his office and I stayed in my section, at the worker’s space. Long story cut short, this man harassed me one day, while I was the only one at the office.

After making a scene, where only the two of us were the only ones present, I left the office while he kept on acting hurling insults and making derogatory statements to my face. Now you might be thinking this story ended here? No, it did not.

Few days later, I was over the incident and could now talk about it. I talked to a person I was comfortable to share what had happened with at work and having worked at that place for a period of time, he told me that I was just one of so many girls. His stories, provided answers to many questions I’d been having, concerning the number of girls this man had referred to as ungrateful because they left the office, whenever he decided to talk about past workers. Apparently, he’d harassed so many of the girls, they ended up running for their dear mental healths.

According to this friend, the man had a track record of harassment, and had so far been getting away with it.

After that experience with him, I learnt the hard way to stop idolizing people. Just because someone did something that made them seem different from the regular humans I meet daily, does not mean they’re special in anyway. This man, beneath all the preaching, and the righteous facade he put out, he had a warped sense of morality that justified sexual abuse and pedophilia.

It cost me a lot to actually learn to stop putting people on a pedestal and now, whenever people are acting all nice and seemingly perfect on the outside, I find myself looking out for when they display their flaws, to see if it is what I can bear or not. It’s not a nice thing I tell you but it’s a trait I’ve come to embrace, for my sanity.

Thanks for reading.

Images are mine