I was blinded by Love; The Red Flags I Ignored and the Lessons I Learned
Love can make you overlook things you never thought you would. It blinds you, Being blinded by love leads you to grip or hold onto a person who steadily damages you. I learned this the hard way though 😂
Initially , everything felt right. The whole thing was perfect, her words were sweet, and her promises felt genuine and real. But along the line, things started to change.
I ignored those small lies because I did not wish to create unnecessary drama from them. The period following disagreements brought about silent treatment, the way my words were twisted against me, and how every issue suddenly somehow became my fault. Still, I stayed. I told myself that love required patience, that maybe I just needed to try harder, blah blah blah, you know all this kind of things
After that emerged the “control” hidden behind concern. Things like “I don’t think that your friend really cares about you.” “You should dress differently, I don’t like you dressing like this; I’m just looking out for you.” “I don’t like when you talk to other people that much.”
Her desire to distance me from others stemmed from something different than jealousy. I allowed the situation to develop although deep down I believed it was an act of love.
The worst part wasn’t the things she did, it was how much I changed. I started questioning myself all the time. I walked on eggshells, trying not to upset her. I constantly apologized for things that weren’t my fault, just to keep the peace. And in doing so, I lost myself.
The moment I realized that love should never feel like fear was the moment I knew I had to face things head on and had to leave the relationship. It wasn’t easy, but for my sake it was necessary.
Lessons I Learnt
- Love should never cost you your peace. If being with someone makes you anxious all the time, that’s not love, it’s control.
- Manipulation is not care. If she constantly makes you question yourself, her love is conditional.
- Small red flags grow bigger. The things you ignore in the beginning will become the things that break you later.
- Walking away isn’t failure. Leaving a toxic relationship doesn’t mean you gave up, it means you chose yourself.
I stayed longer than I should have, but I won’t make that mistake again. Love should feel safe, not like something you have to survive.
Thank you for reading❤️
If you have experiences like this, you can share
We need more than love in a relationship to stay in it.
Sincerely we need more than love
Most people are just whining themselves thinking only love can sustain a relationship
Love should be all about care, trust and loyalty but if reverse is the case then there's need to be cautious.
Also when u said "Manipulation is not care. If she constantly makes you question yourself, her love is conditional", I agree with you on that.
We are not supposed to endure or beg our partners to love us as they are supposed to.
The earlier we noticed the red flags we should take a bold step out of the relationship, the longer you stay, the more complicated things turns out to be..
Thank you for sharing this with us @ojochegbesammie
I THINK MOST PEOPLE THAT HAD A TRAGIC FALLOUT IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS SAW ONE OR TWO OF THESE RED FLAGS BUT BEING BLINDED BY LOVE MADE THEM NOT TO TAKE THE ACTION NEEDED. IT'S GOOD YOU DIDN'T GET FAR DEEP INTO THE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE REALIZING IT WAS HIGH TIME YOU WALKED AWAY.