RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS : MYSELF, MY PARENTS AND THE REST OF US.

about 1 month ago (Edited)

Source

Most of us grow up to act or do things exactly like our parents, while some take a completely different path. This is often due to the kind of relationship we had with our parents during childhood, which tends to shape our behavior and choices. This phenomenon can be referred to as relationship dynamics.

What is Relationship Dynamics?

Relationship dynamics refers to the patterns of interaction, emotional exchanges, and behaviors between individuals. It includes how people communicate, express affection, resolve conflicts, and set boundaries.

These dynamics are influenced by various factors such as upbringing, personality, and past experiences. However, how an individual chooses to navigate life, as well as the kind of friends they keep, also plays a significant role in shaping their personal relationship patterns.

Personally, I would say that I have been influenced by some, but not all, of my parents' relationship dynamics. Below are a few key aspects that have impacted me:

1 . Conflict Resolution Patterns

Growing up, my family lived in a type of compound popularly known as "face me, I face you," where waking up to quarrels or shouting from neighbors was a daily occurrence. This environment taught me a lot about managing conflicts and coexisting peacefully with others.

My parents were the kind of people who never rushed to take sides in an issue. Instead, they preferred to listen to both parties and calmly address the situation. If an argument escalated into an open quarrel, it meant that the situation had truly gotten out of hand.

2 . Not Rushing Out at the Sound of a Fight or Shouting

This life lesson has proven to be very valuable. My parents always advised us not to run out immediately when we heard a fight or shouting, as it could lead to unnecessary trouble. We were taught to pay attention and observe carefully before stepping outside.

I remember an incident where our neighbors were fighting. Out of curiosity, I ran out immediately to see what was happening. In that moment, I narrowly escaped being hit by a stone thrown by one of the fighters. It was only by God's grace that I was saved, hahaha!

3 . Avoiding Unnecessary Visits for Gossip

My parents always discouraged us from frequently visiting other people’s houses for unnecessary gisting. Their philosophy was simple: if you have nothing to do, stay at home and rest. They believed that excessive social visits could lead to problems.

They only paid visits when there was a genuine need to do so, and I have adopted this principle in my own life as well.

4 . Emotional Expression

Hahaha! This part is quite funny. I never grew up hearing my parents tell each other "I love you." However, this did not mean they didn’t love each other. The way emotions were expressed in the '80s and '90s was very different from what we see today in the 21st century.

As I grew older and mingled with others, I had to learn new ways of expressing emotions, sometimes the hard way.

In summary, the few examples mentioned above are some of the relationship dynamics I observed in my parents, and they have influenced me in various ways. Have I fully replicated them? Well, to some extent. However, I have also redefined and adapted them to suit the present realities of our era.