QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS.
So my friend tweeted the other day that he was trying 31 in a couple months and he doesn't know how to feel about it and I could only laugh because this is the same feeling I am struggling with as well. It is a constant mental battle I have to fight everyday.
So what is the problem?
I feel a huge sense of discontent. I keep telling myself that deserve more than I already have and that I am not blame for my predicament because of the choices I have made. However, when I do examine the decisions I have made for the past 10 years, they have been bad decisions per se. I have really been really committed to my craft and given it my best and I have been blessed in many ways than I could have never expected. So is it really a me problem?
It is certainly not my fault that we are currently experiencing one of the worst economic periods in my country; it is certainly not my fault that I became the breadwinner of my family at an early age. There is so much I would have achieved if the circumstances surrounding my life was different. However, as much as I want to be kind to myself I honestly do not accept these excuses anymore. I feel like a victim when accept this narrative. It doesn't empower me to be the best I want, so I don't accept it.
Part of me wants to believe that somehow things will work out fine but I need to see the roadmap or else this would only just be wishfully thinking. I do have a plan but occasionally life gets in the way and that's tough part for me because these decisions never lead to growth. They are often a bandage over current problems, and I often have to forgo future plans to take care of current needs
However, I do remember one of @theycallmedan recent podcast/videos about the beauty of struggle and having a reason to wake up every morning. Life is a lot different when you have little to nothing to live for, but it could be better. It doesn't hurt to live a life where one is contributing more to society than worrying about their personal needs. I would like to focus on other things besides my survival.
On the other hand there is also a part of me that feels ungrateful. I know I people who would give anything to have the life I do. I am literally living my dream. There are people who work twice as much as I do but barely have half of the things I do. If push comes to shove I will be fine atleast. I have some equity, means to start afresh or rebuild. It might not be what I want but it is far from being nothing.
So yeah this is what a quarter-life crisis looks and feels like. It is a constant mental struggle. The only way around it to fill your life meaning and purpose. This is enough to keep you through the periods of doubts and self-loathing. I don't think there is anyone in this life who doesn't struggle with these emotions. So I do feel safe knowing that I am not alone and I have a medium to express these feelings and a means to be usefully to my society/community.
Lastly, I have immerse faith in God and that is also my guiding light. In moments where my words or rationale are not enough I rely on the word of God which surpasses all understand to keep my heart and mind at peace. I am not the most religious person but I do believe in a higher power and that makes life a lot barrier for me.
It's okay to feel this way, we are all humans and not thinking about our progress in life is impossible. A lot of them would have gone really far if not for where life put us and we can't complain because there is a purpose for the point we are in life.
I used to blame someone for my situation until I was 19 but I stopped and took charge of my life because no one would do it better for me.
Having God plus your hard work gives you an edge over the future you don't even see...All will be well.
Happy weekend.
You couldn't have said it better.
I felt that way at some point of in my life but I had to take charge of my life and it has been better for it.
Reading this post just made me feel that I am not alone. I get this feeling also, where I feel like I deserve more than what I have because I work so hard to achieve what I have. I keep blaming myself for mistakes I made in the past and I punish myself for it too. I am learning to be nicer and kinder to myself.
we all have to deal with our inner critic. I am glad this post throws some light on this. We keep pushing.
Many years ago, I read an interesting book titled Cat and Dog Theology.
The book is a serious look at Scripture from the perspective of a somewhat silly joke.
Here’s the joke:
The point of the book is that God wants us to respond to Him the way a dog would rather than the way a cat would.
The authors make an interesting observation in the book. Prior to the Israelites’ deliverance from Egypt, they had been enslaved there for 400 years.
In other words, ten generations of Israelites endured slavery so that God could miraculously deliver their descendants.
That should put any “light and momentary troubles” (2 Cor 4:17) we might be facing into perspective.
I was having this conversation with my mum yesterday about how highly we humans think of ourselves. In the grand scheme of things God dictates everyone or at least oversees it all and the best we can ask for (most times) is to align with his will. I have my doubts and fears but I still hold on to God to guide my steps and I need that reassurance more than whatever I can observe in the physical world.
I am nearing myself my mid fifties. I want to say to you that those times when you were younger and also poorer in terms of materials, those were still beautiful times because you can compensate a lot in younger years for what you might miss on the success or material side of life.
Becoming old and older though gives you entitlement for saying "been there and done that" and also to slowly but surely changing the sides from being told what to do, to say, to think and to act, and all the doubts which somewhat determine the first half of life, to the other side. This happens gradually.
Having self doubts is precious, though, only the insane does lack them. I know that becoming old gives a dignity I was not possessing before, while I must say that it's hard to say good bye to the sassiness of my young adult years. I feel it does not fit me any longer. So you exchange one for the other.
Today I am way better off financially than I ever was. I can say that no money or wealth whatsoever can replace personal serenity, luck and relations.
I once had a severe crisis though. I think modern people have them more often during their adult years since they don't enter adolesense through proper maturity trials which are honored by their peoples at their puberty. In a way we "civilized" peoples are cursed to endure these crisis more often than it was with tribes people who could be sure to be welcomed in the world of the adults after they passed their tests early on.
I agree. I do miss those days when I did not have a care in the world. It is so ironic how back then I wanted the life I have now. Maybe I might even miss this phase of my life in the future, who knows? Trying my best to embrace the moments I have and not give in to doubts and anxious thoughts.
Thanks for stopping by. My apologies for the late response.
Most likely :D HaHa! There is always something precious in all stages of life. As one exchanges one for the other not all things can stay in possession.
To experience well being, misery is needed as a contrast.
No problem with the late response.