When Love Fades

It amazes me how a once lovely couple could suddenly fall out of love. Sometimes, you hear a story of separation or divorce between certain people in a romantic relationship, and it will be difficult for you to believe due to how bonded they have been over the years during their courtship, but the truth is that a lot of things can make people fall out of love if you are not guarded.

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You realize that you’ve fallen out of love with your new wife/husband a year after marriage. How do you react, and what's the next action for you?

Let me not even go far with this prompt but use a practical experience. My immediate elder and his ex-wife fell out of love recently. According to my brother and his wife, their issues started just one year after their wedding, but somehow they have been managing the relationship secretly until everything escalated last year and my family got to know what has been going on.

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The relationship died beyond repair, as every idea we employed to fix their mess proved abortive. Was it separation for some time to see if they could see their mistakes and reconcile? We did that without result; they even became worse enemies. Was it meeting a counselor, talking to their mentors, or something else? We literally exhausted all remedies for the relationship, yet they fell completely out of love.

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Reflecting on how these two lovers began, I will never nurse the idea of seeing them separated, but it happened. They both looked inseparable with their love initially . I remember when the wife stayed in my house prior to their wedding; my brother would always come around to stay with her, lol. Food didn't matter to them; you will always see them gisting and laughing romantically, holding hands, talking about their dreams, their future kids, their plan to leave the country, and much more till odd hour. They looked out for each other on what to wear and not wear; like, their bond was so contagious.

I didn't know what they saw in each other that brought them together in the first place, but one thing I know is that whatever it was died a permanent death. It didn't matter any more to them but hatred. The wife was pointing at my brother's weakness, and so is my brother too. My question is, didn't they see all those weaknesses before? Why did it become a hassle inside marriage?

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I may not approach this prompt the way you expect, but one thing I will drop here is "don't marry for the wrong reasons!" Falling out of love is usually a painful experience, and it's an even worse experience when you fall out of love inside a marriage and with a child in the picture. It makes more sense that you look before you leap. If you notice any red flags before you tie the knot, please don't ignore them.

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Finally, realize that no one is perfect; you can always apply wisdom and work out your differences, but if it's beyond repair, you can decide to continue your falling out to avoid future damages.

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