Should Love Be Tied to Numbers?
To start with, love is very personal to be tied by numbers or certain rules to guide marriages, because at the end of the day, rules do not keep a marriage but commitment, love, respect, etc. However, marriage is not for children, definitely not for immature minds, for many reasons.
When it comes to marriageable range as a topic of discussion, a lot of people have different views about it. Coincidentally, two of my friends and I had this conversation just two weeks ago. Something prompted it, a practical life experience someone too close to me is going through due to some certain decisions in marriage she made ten years ago. She said, "Nkem, I know you are going through a lot currently, but permit me to share my unspoken worries with you".
When she began talking about how the big age gap in her marriage has started to affect her deeply, I pleaded to add Flora, one of our friends, to the WhatsApp call; it became a conference call. Flora is blessed with many wisdom, and I needed her to assist with the whole drama going on. So this lady is my agemate, but her husband is 26 years older than her. You may ask why she made such a decision about such an age gap in marriage, right? She opened up to us that it was all for his money because he is a very wealthy man. She never loved the man or his appearance, but only his money.
Her ten years in marriage with the man have been nothing but chaos; now she is calling because her level of infidelity is going crazy. Obviously, the energy level of the man is just too low for her liking; there are numerous complaints, and she started cheating seriously on the man with her ex. This act has birthed many troubles, and she is looking for a way out. It's still a work in progress anyways, but we shall see the end soon.
Having said that, there are still couples with almost the same age gap in marriage who are thriving very well in their marriages; there is joy, happiness, and fulfillment within them, and respect and commitment to make their marriage work. So if we should apply a rule of marriage range, such a union wouldn't have existed, right? So a rule would have deprived such a couple from living their life.
On this note, I would say that there shouldn't be an age range within which people should be permitted to marry. Let there be freedom for everyone to go for the one they love, whether younger or older; it doesn't matter. Number or age gap doesn't keep a home, like I mentioned earlier, but mutual respect, genuine love, and understanding do. As long as both people involved can keep to the ingredients that make a marriage work, why not?
But I must stress that marriage isn't advisable for children and immature minds no matter any circumstances that could trigger such a decision at a younger age. Child marriage should be a no-no!
This is my response to the #HiveLearners community contest on the topic titled, MARRIAGEABLE RANGE.
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26 years is a lot, women tends to forget there are other marital duties that even money can't satisfy. She sacrificed her sexual needs for money and now she is having trouble because she wants to keep both under her control. Marriage sometimes looks like a black market but at the same time, there are things a person should be aware of before going into it for the wrong reasons.
Indeed, she was obviously thinking forward until reality came knocking
It is what it is
Mommy, you just spoke what's on my mind. This thing is based on choice and maturity, laws won't run the marriage for anyone, in the end, it would be you and your partner and not the law.
People marry for different reasons, I think it would be unfair to to set any law around that because some people would be affected badly.
Nevertheless, before saying an "I do," our reasons should be genuine and godly. I felt bad for the lady you mentioned earlier but it's a lesson for us who are still single, marrying for the wrong reasons may eventually end in disaster.
Exactly ..imagine meeting the one u law but one kind law stops u..that's really not fair . All the same , we can do better with our decisions
Well marriage is a thing of the mind, making up your mind because there's a lot of challenges in marriage but the most important in marriage is peace understanding and love with this even without money that marriage can strive
Sure sis..u have spoken so well🤗
Yea, I agree with you, everyone deserves the liberty of choosing who they want to be with regardless of age differences.
Marriage should be built on love and not financial interest, I feel for your friend, but there are some decisions that would really affect your life badly, I hope she finds peace with her decision.
Thanks for sharing, learnt alot from reading your post.
Yea .not Financial interests , it's a wrong foundation for such supposed lasting union
Yea..I hope so for her
Your last paragraph and mine own are almost identical. Marriage is not for babies nor is it for immatures ooo
I was about to tag you to read this, but thank God you got here first.
Now I see the point you were trying to bring out yesterday on my post about the extreme wide age difference when it comes to the
other roomWho dey my house like this
😂😂😂 your house keh??
Wow..we were thinking alike 🤗
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Love can't truly be measured in numbers. And when you fall for someone, you don't really care about the age gap because you love them. Because when we love that particular person, we accept them for who they are, especially if they're the one your heart is calling out to.
And in terms of marriage, you should really marry someone you're sure about, someone you see a future with. Because marriage isn't a game, it's real, and you both should be ready for the commitment.
There should be freedom of choice when it comes to selecting the person one needs to marry, but that freedom should be guided with wisdom and things that the person will later regret because of greed or personal interest should be put aside. Though money is important in a married but why sacrifice that for self pleasure, now she's facing the consequences of her the action she made ten years ago, and that is what a lot of people are faced with today. Go for the money not minding that the man's will not be able to satisfy them later on in the room...I hope she find a way out and we will also be waiting for the full gist...the outcome 😉