Parenting Principles: Crafting a Unique Approach to Raising Children

When I was pregnant with my first child, I imagined how my upbringing with my parents went, and I tried to create a unique child-raising lifestyle for my unborn kids. Right from the conception stage, most parents start planning for their kids welfare, what their dream child's raising would look like, and what shouldn't be on the list. The truth is that parenting is never an easy task, and sometimes it could be overwhelming. However, it's important that we do not overlook the vital things necessary for a child's upbringing.

Having said that, there are things I'll never do, even as I continue to raise my little children.

Show unequal love to my kids: I am sorry to use My grandma is an example of this, but growing up with her, I experienced the effect of the unequal love she displays on her children, which usually breaks the bond between her grown-up adults. Why should I have a favorite child when all my kids are my blood? No matter any disability or weakness on the part of any of my children, showing unequal love is a no-no; it may even bring resentment between the children, as such an act can't be covered forever.

Comparison: every child is unique! No two children are the same in capacity, thoughts, skills, etc., and this is what most of us parents fail to recognize sometimes before wearing our comparison cap. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I am never a perfect parent, but I keep striving to get better with my parenting each day. Sometimes ago, I compared my first son to my second son regarding their academic performances, and I tell you that my first son felt inferior. It took me a long time to correct that mistake, and today, comparison has become part of my never-do lists as a parent.

Never be unavailable for my kids; emotional availability, availability in their education, and physical availability are vital approaches to raising the kids. Unfortunately, some parents aren't always there to support their children. These are responsibilities I see as a must for an intentional parent who wants to raise a responsible child. If you are not there to monitor the child's academics or his morals and emotional needs, how will you know when things go wrong or when there's a need to set things right for that child? Unavailability regarding my kids welfare is on my to-do list as long as God keeps me alive. It's all about creating time for them and calling it a priority and, of course, a responsibility.

Never only notice their wrongdoing or failure: Nowadays, we have nagging parents who would only shout on top of their voice when the kids went wrong or brought back unsatisfactory results after an academic session. Some of these parents probably weren't even there for the kids to guide and assist them in most cases, but they expect great results by setting life as a default. There should be limits to our expectations towards the kids, and the kids deserve to be encouraged and appreciated when they do wonderful things and not only noticed when things go wrong.

I will never fail to discipline my children. Sometimes, parents struggle with how best to discipline their children. For most African parents, they believe in the rod of correction, always flogging a child at any slightest mistakes by the child. I wouldn't advise anyone on how best to discipline his or her child, but incorporating discipline is a good approach to child raising, avoiding over-pampering, and setting boundaries and family rules so the child will know what he or she should do or shouldn't do. As for me, I mostly use the deprivation method to discipline my children, and so far, it's working for me.

Force a career path for the kids: Not every child is born to be a lawyer, pilot, or what have you. From my experience so far, it's better to help the child discover his or her talent on time and guide the child to his or her desired career path.

These and many more are my never-do lists as a parent as I continue with my parenting journey. Kindly share yours; let's learn together.

Image is mine.