From “Me” to “Us”: How Marriage Transformed My Life

Marriage is one of the major life-changing events I have experienced that transformed a lot about me. Before I got married, I could just wake up and make certain decisions without having to consider children or a husband. It could be as simple as a meal for breakfast , just something simple, and I will face other activities for the day. My decisions are just centered around myself , easy peasy, right? Lol.

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I had my time of my own, no one dragging my attention that much, and neither did I need to explain to any hubby why I was doing this or that to receive a no or yes as an answer. No much responsibilities, aside from focusing on pursuing my life dreams and ambitions. It was a kind of freedom aside from the fact that my big brother always kept his eyes on me to be sure I lived responsibly.

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I remember attending life-changing programs that lasted days, and I will comfortably participate actively without divided attention. My daily routine was not constantly interfered with. I just had my time for myself to explore my world.

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In my previous posts, I mentioned traveling to 16 states so far within my country. As a lover of adventure , I didn't hesitate to take advantage of opportunities that would take me outside home without thinking of who would stay with the kids. When I said I explored my world within my country , I really did. My big brother will call this month, and I will tell him that I am in Anambra State. Next month, it could be Calabar, and he keeps stressing my frequent traveling. It was my hobby, and I just loved doing what makes me happy.

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Today, I will calculate and calculate and recalculate before making a move. In fact, there has been a pending and important trip I was supposed to make since last year ending, but yet, I haven't found the suitable period to embark on the trip without it affecting my children and my home at large.

Life after marriage has been beautiful and challenging too. Lots of sacrifice and compromise just to ensure that things are in order. It's no longer about me alone; I must accommodate my kids and hubby in my decision-making and forfeit even some things that, if I were to be single , I shouldn't forfeit. Sometimes what I want doesn't matter; it doesn't count at all. It's sacrifice. I now have a head who will approve certain things before I do them. I must confess that it hasn't been easy for someone to always have a say in my movements or certain decisions. Sometimes hubby stands on his NO and mean it, with reasons anyway, but yet, I felt like being suppressed, lol, but on second thought , it's for the good of the family , but my natural self still craves certain freedom as it was before marriage .

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Having said that, I have embraced the change and kept learning values to help me thrive. I learned to compromise in certain situations. Yes, there is the need for adjustment because it's no longer about me anymore. I embrace communication and learn the importance of teamwork. We brainstorm and work together to achieve a common goal; it's a win_win.

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Before my marriage it was just me; now, it's about us, and the changes transformed me in many ways. I am learning patience and resilience by force , hahaha. It's been a beautiful experience anyways, but at times when it feels overwhelming , I wish I could travel back to my single days, at least for one month, to have a taste of freedom and life with fewer responsibilities...lol.

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