When Victims Become Perpetrators: Who Holds the Weight?
We’ve all had bad or traumatic experiences and everyone’s experience varies from the other and even the degree of pain we experience varies depending on the situation. Some people have been traumatised for years and are finding help while others choose to not find help but rather build ok that trauma and hurt other with it. I once heard of a story of a woman who contracted HIV from her supposed boyfriend.
She vowed to give it to as many men as possible because her boyfriend didn’t tell her he had HIV but rather transmitted it to her. Instead of going to the hospital to get started on antiretroviral drugs, she was going around sleeping with any man who would want to sleep with her with the mindset of using her. And before this news got to public, she had infected so many men and to her, she probably though this would make her feel much better but I doubt it would. Because this action of hers would have ruined so many lives and families at the end of the day.
Sometimes things do happen for no reason. Bad things happen to good people and vice versa. We can’t always put meaning to the things we go through, but what we can do is to make sure to work towards letting it go. I’ve had so many traumatic experiences in my life. But I don’t go around projecting my fears or pain on others. Instead, I make sure that others don’t go through what I have been through. There’s really no shame in telling your story to help others, that’s strength if you ask me. So, instead of doing bad with my experiences and pain, I get help, and create awareness to help others. You never know whose life you will change with your story.
As for forgiveness, I’d say forgiveness is in the heart and you can’t actually for someone to forgive you. I believe everyone deserves forgiveness just like God who created us forgives us our sins. No matter how much someone has hurt you or ruined your life due to their past experiences or trauma, you have to understand that it probably wasn’t intentional and forgive them. Because forgiveness itself helps put your soul at peace. So, for the sake of ourselves, we should try as much as possible to forgive those who have wronged us knowingly and unknowingly because life shouldn’t have to be this hard.
At the end of the, it’s your peace of mind and health that really matters. So, put your sanity first, learn to let go and live freely. It’s only then that you will learn to live this life. Things do happen, but letting go is the best we can do.
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The circle of pain. I have been on the giving and receiving end. One thing I can say for sure is that projecting your fear on others because someone else hurt you is not the right approach. In the end, you’ll only keep hurting yourself.
I know it is not easy to overcome pain or hurt. We all want revenge. However, we should understand that sharing love is better and makes the world a better place.
Sharing pain or hurt will only make matters worse and this is not just about individuals alone but countries and all.
There's so much peace in letting things go, things that might have hurt us, no matter how hard it seemed at first. People who carry hurt all the years of their life are not even happier. Not to mention how short life is, it's better we just forgive and enjoy the little years we have in good health and peace.
Remembering that being forgiven depends on forgiven others also will move us to choose peace and happiness, with a free mind and not harbor resentment.