Unscripted: My Journey Away from Society’s Blueprint

Coming from an African background, there’s a lot society expects from you. I grew up thinking I’d complete school in my early twenties, get a well paying job , get married and finally be able to take care of my parents. I mean, that’s what everyone thought but no one told us what the reality was, we had to grow up and face it ourselves.

Where I come from , there’s a lot society expects from you. I don’t know who makes the rules around here based on those stuff but everyone seems to subconsciously hold them in high regard while living by them with their whole life. But yeah, I’d like to believe my generation is different. If you ask me, I’d say this generation is one that challenges everything the older generations believed in to some extent. This generation seems to ask questions about all these so called rules everyone must live by, we try to go about things in a different way to see the results and somehow, we’re doing great even though we receive a lot of backlash from the older generations.

Personally, if there’s one societal expectation I’ve grown to personally unlearn, it’s the fact that we are expected to make it in life early and also marry as soon as possible. I get that I’m a woman and naturally, my biological clock is ticking. Once I get to a certain age , I have to start thinking about settling down and starting my own family. Aside this, everyone somehow believes that we are supposed to have it all figured out by the age of 25 and sometimes they even say it’s okay to not have it all figured out as a lady because you’d have your husband to take care of you. And oh, I just can’t seem to wrap my head around this.

Marriage to me isn’t a race. Not everyone is meant to marry early or even marry at all. We all look forward to getting married and starting our own families, but that doesn’t mean we have to allow society push to input things we are not ready for. I have friends who got married very early just because they wanted to give we the unmarried ones pressure and today they wish they were single like us. Life isn’t a race, such matters are very sensitive a require a clear mind in making such decisions. No one is supposed to make such huge life decisions for us or pressure us into settling down when we are not ready to. Let’s make such decisions when we are ready and believe we can thrive in there at the right time. Life isn’t a race.

Moving on, as we usually say, life be time. Everyone’s breakthrough comes at a different time. Yours might be today , mine might be in a month or years time. That’s just life. No one made the rules that we are supposed to have it all figured out by 25, I’d like to believe that’s just an expectation society has set for us. Let’s go easy on ourselves. Most of us are still trying to navigate this life thing. It’s everyone’s first time of doing this so why the rush. Take it easy, enjoy the process and be open for growth, embrace it all.

Sometimes it’s necessary to unlearn so many stuff even though we grew up seeing them being taken like the Ten Commandments by our own people. However, at some point, someone has to challenge the system and do things the way they work best for them. I hope we all get the strength to do what works best for us instead of trying to meet societal expectations.

all images belong to me.