On Men, Emotions, and the Courage to Be Seen

We all know the billion dollar statement that says men don’t cry. You’ve probably said that a few times or more to yourself or guys around you because why not- everyone says it. But have you actually sat to think about its effect on the human mind or yhe male mind? The kind of damage it does to the mind and the message it leaves behind?

Throughout my life, I’ve seen how gender rules have worked, especially in my part of the world. As an African, I’ve heard people say a million and more times that women belong in the kitchen, women are just there to bear children and what have you. As a woman, I sometimes get offended at how much some people haven’t had the mindset shift. This is something people have learnt to start speaking about more often. But the one thing everyone seems to have turned a blind eye to in the minds of all this equity fight and all is that,everyone mental health matters.

Over the part few year, I’ve seen people post and advocate for mental health all year round. They talk about how men are also involved in this and even when we are celebrating something on mental health, men are advised to open up and talk about their problems. Questions is, would you listen to them as a woman? What most of us don’t seem to realize is that men do talk about their problems, mostly to their fellow men. They believe their fellow men would understand them more, and wouldn’t judge them or even use their issues against them later on. This is because most of us women tend to use these stuff against others when things get heated.

Speaking of men crying as in actual tears, I’ve only seen a couple of guys do that and those situations demanded that. In my setting, it’s very difficult for a man to cry. That’s just how the system has groomed them to become. I’m not sure their lacrimal glands work anymore due to them not crying for other years. As a cry baby, I sometimes wonder how someone can go years and decades without shedding a tear when I literally cry at any little inconvenience.

If I’m to be honest, I believe it’s totally okay to show emotions regardless of your gender. It doesn’t say anywhere that a particular gender doesn’t have the right to show emotions while the others r gender doesn’t. It’s more like something society has made us believe and we also have tolerated for years now. Recently, there has been a lot of talk around this topic and to speak extend, men have started to actually show emotions when they are going through a hard time. However, this isn’t change that would happen in a day. It would probably take years and decades for us to see this change. Everyone deserves to show emotions and let it all out. No one is left out because the world can hit you hard regardless of your gender.

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all images belong to me.

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