Why You Should Come First — Always

Imagine working all day only to take your pay at the end of the month and spend it on others who can literally just sit somewhere and say you never did anything for them. Life is hard, no doubt and this is the main reason why we need to take care of ourselves.

Recently, a colleague of mine was celebrating a milestone in their life and as a thoughtful person, I spoke to our other colleagues to at least surprise this individual on the day on the event. Plans were made and the d- day came. We made sure to show up for this person like we should with gifts and all. During the event, this person wasn’t around and so we just kept the stuff we brought at the venue and we were hanging around. This person came around and we took some pictures and during the process, the person passed a comment that we were stingy and that we came empty handed. And this was said in the presence of the persons friends and family.

A few moments later, we all decided to take our leave and before we did, we told the person that these were the stuff we brought support the celebration. You should have seen the shame on this person face. This is to tell you that in all you do, put yourself first because even if you kill yourself for people, the still won’t appreciate you. Putting yourself first in all you do is the hack to living a happy life as an individual. I for one had to learn this the hard way because I was filling others cups while mine was running dry.

To come out of this, I had to make hard choices, set boundaries and let those around me know. At some point people called me selfish but if they call me selfish for putting myself first then I don’t have a problem. I started spending more on myself, getting the stuff I needed, having my me time, making sure to prioritise my rest time and not let anyone keep me busy during such times.

To add to these, I stopped giving what I didn’t have. Before, I used to dip my hand into my monthly budget just to help others and while they are out having fun, I’m left to work extra hard because I chose to be a nice person. Now, I only give what I can spare and what won’t affect my budget for the month. Since I stated doing these things, my life has been a lot peaceful and stressful free. And I’d say this is one of the best decision I’ve made in my life.

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all images belong to me.

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