The Depth Most Conversations Never Reach

As human as we are, each and everyone of us has our needs which are both physical and emotional and there’s no denying that. Everyone of us yearns for the feeling of knowing that we have people in our corner. People who have our best interest at heart, people who will be there for us in times of need and good times. That’s just human nature if you ask me.

Day in day out, we have so many interactions with various people who play various roles in our lives. The things we talk to our work colleagues about aren’t the stuff we would discuss with our siblings or parents. There’s levels to the relationships we have with everyone in our lives and that’s why it is very important to know your place in someone’s life so you don’t do more than you’re expected to or end up crossing the line in one way or the order.

As we speak to others, others also speak to us. It’s a never ending cycle. But in all our discussions both deep and shallow, what do you derive from such discussions. Do we just talk to our friends and whoever we talk to and forget about whatever we spoke about or do we actual listen to them and draw meanings from the problems they try to tell us about in a subtle way. Some people don’t feel comfortable talking about everything as it is, they prefer to put it in a way that would look like a normal thing they would say but if you’re someone who actually pays close attention, you’d know that behind those silly jokes and laughter is someone struggling.

If there’s one thing I can boast about, it’s the fact that I pay attention to the tiniest details. As much as sometimes it bad, it’s also very good as this habit has helped me help so many of my friends and family and show up for them when necessary. There was a time where a colleague of mine was struggling with his health and I didn’t know about it. One day, I was having a random chat with him and all of a sudden I noticed that there was a change in his mood and everything. Slowly, the discussion started getting to the point where we were talking about life and all.

Immediately, I picked up a hint that this person was very depressed. I allowed him speak and we parted ways. The next day we met, I actually confronted him and asked him if everything was okay. You wouldn’t believe that this person was so depressed to the extent of giving up on life. This isn’t what I want for someone this young and so I reached out to our close friends and we found ways and means to help him. Today, he’s doing very great, his health is improving and life is a lot better now for him than then.

When the tables are turned,I would honestly say I don’t really have people who actually listen to me. I have a very small circle of friends who I believe I know in and out. Everyone knows me to be that friend who’s always happy and has no problems in life. But that’s not really the case. I’ve had some very bad days and you’d be shocked to know that spoke to some of my friends about it and they took it as just a normal thing I would say. And even when I told them I was serious, they still wouldn’t believe. So, I’ve had to go through most of the worst moments of my life alone. This isn’t to say I don’t have friends who listen to me, they do, but not to the extent I would listen to them. But hey, we can’t all be the same. Some of us are active listeners while some of us find ourselves somewhere in between.

all images belong to me.