The Version of Me I Had to Kill to Grow

Sometimes I sit down and just think of the old me. The version of myself that was always trying to please everybody, always hiding how I truly feel, just to avoid wahala. I look back and I don't even recognize that person again. I was so lost trying to be perfect in everybody eyes that I didn’t know who I really was. That version of me had to die. And it wasn't easy. It felt like I was killing a friend I knew all my life. But honestly, growth won’t come until you let go of who you no longer are

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There was a time I couldn’t say “no.” I was always available, always showing up for people even when I was empty inside. I used to think that being good meant saying yes to everything and keeping my pain inside. But deep down, I was tired. I was angry at myself. People walked over me because I gave them the chance to

The biggest lie I told myself was that things will change on their own that one day, people will just understand me, or treat me better, or life will get easier. But life no dey work like that. You have to take charge of your own story. And for me, that meant killing the old version of me

The version that tolerated disrespect because I was afraid of losing people.
The version that smiled even when I was breaking inside.
The version that played small so others can shine

I had to bury that person

The process wasn’t smooth at all. People started saying I’ve changed. Some even called me selfish. But nobody asked what I’ve been through. Nobody asked what it cost me to finally start saying "I deserve better." People only get comfortable with you when you're serving them, and the moment you choose yourself, na problem

But I kept going

I started setting boundaries. Started saying “no” without explaining. I unfollowed people online who made me feel less. I distanced myself from some old friends, and honestly, the silence that followed was healing. I began to see myself clearer. I started loving who I was becoming. Not because I was perfect far from it but because I was finally real. No more faking. No more shrinking

Funny enough, I didn’t even know how heavy that old version of me was until I dropped it. It’s like I could finally breathe. Like something deep inside of me had been unlocked. Peace entered my life slowly, but steadily. And I’ve been protecting it with my full chest since then

Growth is painful, yes. But staying stuck is even more painful

Now, when I look in the mirror, I see someone I respect. Not just someone who’s trying to survive. I see someone who’s learning, healing, growing and most importantly, someone who is no longer afraid of letting go of anything that doesn’t align with who I want to be

I don’t know who else need to hear this, but sometimes you need to kill the old you to become the person you were always meant to be

And trust me, it’s worth it