The Memory I Wish I Could Erase

They say time heals all wounds, but some memories leave a scar so deep, even time walks past it quietly. Have you ever smiled on the outside while your heart broke a thousand pieces inside over a moment you never asked for, but can never forget? I have. And if I could reach into my past and delete just one memory, I already know the exact moment I’d choose. It’s not just about erasing pain, it’s about setting my mind free from a scene that keeps playing like a broken record I never subscribed to.

Life has given me many moments, some I hold close, others I let drift. But there's this one day I carry like a hidden wound under my shirt. It was the day I lost someone I never thought I could live without my cousin, who was more like my brother.

We grew up in the same compound, shared toys, stories, and secrets. He was the one who taught me how to ride a bicycle, stood up for me in school fights, and made me believe that no matter what, someone always had my back. That bond wasn’t just blood. It was heart, laughter, and childhood wrapped in one.

The day he died, I was supposed to meet him. I had promised. But I got caught up with something I now don’t even remember. Hours later, my phone rang, and the news hit me like a slap I didn’t see coming. He was gone. Just like that. An accident. No goodbye. No chance to say, “I’m sorry for not showing up.”

For months, I blamed myself. I replayed that day a hundred times in my head thinking maybe if I had been there, it wouldn’t have happened. Maybe we would’ve walked a different road. Maybe… just maybe.

That memory still wakes me up some nights. Not just the pain of losing him, but the guilt of not keeping a simple promise. That’s the memory I wish I could erase, not because I want to forget him, but because I want to remember him without the ache.

If you’ve ever lost someone suddenly, you’ll understand. It’s not just about the person who’s gone, it’s about the part of you that went with them.

But here’s the thing, memories, no matter how painful, shape who we are. I may never erase that day, but I’ve made peace with it. I now keep his laughter alive by telling stories about him to my younger siblings. I ride bikes with kids in our neighborhood just like he did with me. I show up when I say I will, because I learned that sometimes, a single moment can become a lifetime of regret.

So yes, if I had the power, I’d erase that memory. But maybe… just maybe… I wouldn’t. Because in its pain, I found purpose.

Image is Ai generated

https://ecency.com/hive-196769/@cryptocompany/engdeu-new-hive-tool-he-blockchain-based-transparent-tamper-proof-raffle-wheel-you-and-your-participants-can-trust

https://ecency.com/hive-143104/@powerpaul/engdeu-funkyframefriday-or-musical-photo-contest-round-12-or-vote-for-your-favourite-music-related-picture