Don't lose yourself

This prompt this came just after I just finished watching "Renfield", a movie about a servant and his toxic vampire boss, feels a little bit like fate😅.

Relationships are hard on their own and when I mean hard, I mean maintaining them. Trust, communication, loyalty, the key things that make up a good relationship and like my mother used to say, "Everybody's different", which equally means relationships between two different people can be tough. Sorry, I'm just trying to emphasize on how relationships on their own can be tough.

Being in a toxic relationship is even worse. Say you're in a relationship, you're supposed to feel safe and secure, to be yourself, to be about to talk about the things that hurt you without the fear of judgment but you lose all that in a toxic relationship.

The signs that tell you you're in a toxic relationship are very easy to spot.

1. You're mostly feeling sad, angry or depressed.
2. You feel like you're giving more than you're getting.
3. You feel misunderstood and can't really be yourself.
4. Your self esteem takes a heavy toll.

These are some of the signs you're in a toxic relationship which makes we think I was in a toxic relationship with my project supervisor when I was in school but who hasn't?

Have I been in a toxic relationship?

No, I don't think I have. Nothing comes to mind now, maybe I have but I can't remember now. What I do remember is a female friend who was in a toxic relationship.

Her story starts when we were both still in the university and she fell head over heels for a guy in another department. The first 6 months where great and I actually thought they'd end up together.

She had always been a quiet person since I had known her. I started to notice the little jokes she made about the guy. What's that thing they say about jokes? There's a little truth to it sometimes. I didn't say anything, after all they were just jokes but she called me one night crying, saying the guy, her boyfriend verbally abused her and said she was cheating on him with me.

I didn't understand because the only problems I had that time was what to eat next, not thinking of ways to break people's relationship. I did what any good friend who do, I told her to breakup with him. Not because I wanted to date her, but because her problem was eating into my problems and I couldn't think of food so her's needed to be solved.

They settled and got back together, everytime I asked her how things were going, she'd just say fine so I left it like that until he hit her and she came running back.

I told her to leave him and she said she would, that she was done and never going back but that's one thing with toxic relationships, they're really hard to leave.

They got back together after a month and her excuse was she caused him to react like that and he promised never to do it again. I warned her and told her it was going to happen, the guy was an asshole and I didn't even like him before they started dating but no one ever listens to me.

I went back to face my own problems and left her in God's protection. He did hit her again and even though it wasn't my problem but she was so I did what every Mafia boss is afraid of, I called the police and man did they beat the fear of God into him.

She didn't talk to me for a month after I called the police.

"A small price to pay for salvation", in Thanos' voice.

She even came to her senses and apologized but she never went back to him.

Sometimes we don't even know we're victims, even the times we do, it's hard to leave. She didn't get over it, I helped her get over it. Sometimes we need someone or something to give us the push we need to get out of a toxic relationship. If you're facing something like this, I do hope you find that strength.