My limitations do not affect my obligations
Hello dear minimalist friends, it is a great pleasure to write again in this community, this time to talk about something we all have every day, obligations. While I was meditating to write I started to think about what that word covers and as the word itself indicates it is some activity that we have to do compulsorily, whether we like it or not.
Surely you will agree with me that none of us like to have to do things obligatorily, since we are born we want to have the freedom to decide what to do or not. Having to do these activities on a daily basis makes us feel overwhelmed and even stressed.
In my case, there are activities that I do obligatorily that I have had to learn to manage them to avoid being overwhelmed, believe it or not, being a mom has demanded a lot from me and although it is not something I do obligatorily but for love, sometimes I have felt overwhelmed. I don't mean this in a bad way, I hope I don't offend any mom by this but when you are pregnant you can't imagine how exhausting it can be to have a baby and also to do all the other things at home, keep the house clean, wash the baby's clothes, feed the baby and all the other things that are needed to maintain a home.
Image in pixabay by StockSnap
There is not a day that goes by that someone on the street or a family member does not tell me something regarding the care of my son that, according to the person, I am not doing well. For example, on medical advice, I used to leave my son barefoot most of the time. There were people who criticized me for doing that, according to them I was not fulfilling my obligation as a mother to take good care of him. I decided not to add sugar and salt to my son's food until he was 2 years old and they said that it was mandatory for a child to eat sugar because he could get sick. Coincidentally yesterday a close relative told me that I have to enroll my son in school so he can be smarter and talk better, he demanded it.
How exhausting to please everyone! And more so because no matter how hard you try you won't be able to please them all. The truth is that at the beginning I tried to do the things they told me, but there were things I didn't agree with and I decided to do things my way. How can anyone think that you have to let your child cry when he needs you to mature his lungs? It was several months before I learned to handle the people who wanted to add obligations and criticisms regarding my son's care.
When someone would tell me one of their ideas of what it means to be a good mother, I would thank them with a smile and tell them that I will take it into account, that way I am kind and I keep my peace. Most of the time people say things with good intentions, but they don't realize that little by little this collapses the mom, to the point of believing that nothing she does is right. I have felt this way several times and it feels very bad.
Image in pixabay by geralt
Regarding my duties in the house, I do my best to keep it clean, tidy as well as all the other things I have to do during the day, I try my best to do everything in the best way, but when there are days that my son is not feeling well and wants to continue sleeping there I stay with him keeping him company, if I am the one who feels a little stressed and I can't do as much as I should, I rest and when I recover I do what I need to do. That's what I like about the simple things I have in my home, they are easy to clean and tidy. It is true that we have obligations to fulfill but the biggest obligation is to myself and my family, I can't neglect my peace and that of my family, I see that as my priority.
My time depends on my son and I can't commit myself to do things that will be difficult to do later on. Also, I try to make sure that the environment in which I am going to work is the right one, a negative environment makes all the work heavy and if I have to write I like to do it in contact with nature, outdoors so I feel more relaxed and my hands write to the rhythm of my thoughts.
My recommendation is that no matter what obligations you have, if you make an effort to enjoy and create your own environment in each of them you will feel comfortable and enjoy more what you do. The ideal is not to try to please everyone, what we should do is to show others how we turn an obligation into a new learning experience to improve our lives.
Image in pixabay by lies_rebelle
Thank you very much for reading me, I will be attentive to your comments.
Publication originally written in Spanish and translated by translator Deepl.
This is so real... I am what they say out there a complacent person, for me it has been a challenge because usually in life you meet people who do not care about your well being, and by constantly prioritizing others, your needs end up unsatisfied, then you have to put some willpower in staying firm in what you want.
That's right, there comes a point when you put aside your well-being to support others, and that's not bad, it's what we know as love for others, but when what you do is to please others and look good, that is no longer altruism. In some cases it can be a challenge, that is why it is important to learn to say "No" when necessary. Thank you for your comment and support.
Don't worry about anything except your son. Nothing else matters. When my son was little we got to a point where the living room floor was full of Legos and toys. The effort to tidy up the room every day was simply too much. Once I was talking about this with a friend who also had small kids and she started laughing. "I just push everything to a corner with my foot". Best advice I ever got... :)
From one point of view it is reasonable advice, and I'm glad it has helped you; is that having to sort, after a day of play and then exhaustion put everything in its place, and decide to throw it aside without causing him anxiety, because he will repeat the scene right away, is quite a challenge. Sometimes it has happened to me, the drawback I have, is that if you let it accumulate it will get complicated, I have chosen to help my little one, to put in a basket his toys and things in their place, sometimes he does it well and others he leaves it half way, but the habit will help him as he grows and matures, thank you for your valuable comment, knowing that others understand you also gives you peace.
Working on a good environment will reduce the overwhelm of obligations, we have to pay attention to the environment that we work, is an environment that suits with ourselves.
people will always talk. This noise can be tiring sometimes. It is best not to stray away from what you know is right.