Kiss#161: The burden is the same: I am the one who has changed.
The burden is the same: I am the one who has changed.
I graduated on December 10, 1999 and started working at the university on January 7, 2000. I was hired to teach four sections of 40 students. My schedule was crazy: some days I had classes from 7 a.m. until 12 noon and other days from 2 p.m. until 8 p.m. I had classes at 7 a.m. until 12 noon. Beyond the feeling of responsibility, I don't remember feeling tired, overwhelmed or exploited.
Of course, at that time the salary of a university professor was one of the highest in the public administration, so in the first years of service I was able to save a certain amount of money that allowed me to live quietly, without heavy burdens, in a light manner.
25 years after that, the country is not the same, the university is not the same, the salary is not the same, and I also became another. What yesterday was my passion and motivation, today, with much regret I must confess, has become a burden that I carry with fortitude, but not with pleasure.
Teaching unmotivated kids sometimes demotivates me as well. Reviewing exams where students have probably used A.I. discourages and even annoys me. Facing kids who have repeated a subject for the third time and see me as if their life would be wonderful if I didn't exist, literally: it wears me out. Not to mention the low economic remuneration we receive (my salary is 4$ a fortnight) that makes my will fall to the ground.
Every day I carry an invisible backpack with exams to be corrected, planning to be presented, material to be mailed, books to be photocopied. An endless number of pending matters that exhaust me not only physically, but also mentally. And the mental burdens are worse because you can't see them, but they make your life difficult.
Last year a nephew died and although I had a week's leave, at the end of that time, I had to go back to work. I remember that I did everything in automatic: although my body was walking and breathing around, my soul was crying in some corner of my room. I went to work out of obligation, not because I really wanted to go, and that feeling has lingered over the days. I remember that my boss, at some point, told me that working would do me good because then I would forget what I was going through. I think it was a joke.
I am aware that maybe this feeling is due to my grief, also to the economic situation and the low salary that we teachers have in Venezuela, to the apathy of the students also because of the same crisis, and that maybe it has nothing to do with teaching, with my vocation, that when everything passes, and things are better, I get back the enthusiasm and joy that I used to have with each semester.
For now, I take it easy, like someone who has the first coffee of the day: “I work with anyone who is enthusiastic and wants to see the light at the end of this tunnel,” I tell young people entering university. Next year I will retire and I will surely dedicate myself to the things I can't do today because of all the obligations I have (travel, read what I like, write, sleep). My grandmother used to say that even “donkeys complain about their burdens”. Only men have the capacity to let go of them and make our journey lighter.
The images are from my personal gallery and the text was translated with Deepl
Thank you for reading and commenting. Until a future reading, friends
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Thanks to you for your support, friends. Much success
I salute you Nancy.
I once taught some Masters students at University on a part time basis. Thankfully they wanted to be there so it was fun.
But high school children ... no thanks!
I was reading this today and thinking of you...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgq98edegxo
“A los profesores les están lanzando tijeras: ¡ya basta!”
I smiled when I saw your sunglasses and red pen!
A big examined hug Nancy :)
Thank you for this article! Apparently the dissatisfaction of teachers is general. Previous generations were curious, but respectful; this generation is lazy, sadly. You are very observant, Ed! If you only knew what the students call me. hahaha. I send you a hug
Oh trust me I am very observant. That comes from have to proofread and authorise hundreds of drawings and documents a day, you learn to speed read and speed see!
A big observant hug sent to you Nancy :)
Teachers/lecturers of this modern age, I must give Kudos to them. I can't imagine facing 95% of AI from students work😅