What Was That All About?

The other day, I was sitting in front of the computer and staring at it with no definite purpose. In no time, I was surfing YouTube, X, and other social media platforms, giving myself a few minutes of free time; the only thing was, I was surfing for more than three hours now. I couldn’t take my eyes off the social media garbage, lest I felt directionless again.

Strangely, that was not just the first time. It had happened before. For many years, there would be a sudden attack of listlessness, and I would be so deep in pessimism that it was not funny. It was not good, and I had to get rid of it now.

So, I fell back on my strongest ally, God, and one of his tools – the energy exercises.

The Reflection | Getting to the Root Cause

On closer inspection of the thoughts themselves, I realized that it wasn’t new. I had felt that way many times before, and most of the time when I had been doing very well in one or more areas of my life. I wrote down the specific thoughts that came by, and I am enumerating them below.

“Nothing seems to work out. It was always this way.”

“I don’t think the things I am doing are going to work out.”

“What am I seriously doing? Why do I think these opportunities will work out?”

“I am at a dead end.”

“There is no way out of here. What am I going to do next?”

[NOTICE: Not only were my thoughts steamrolling my current opportunities, but I was forced to think about what to do next; meaning, in my mind, I was to write off everything I was doing right now.]

And on further introspection, these were the same thoughts that plagued me in my corporate life, and I would be so clueless that I would want to shut down and sleep, or just walk away from my laptop and have a coffee. However, no amount of coffee or coffee breaks helped; no amount of sleep helped, either. I only woke up tired.

I was in a rut, and I had no way out.

God Opening My Eyes | And Me Seeing the Solution | For the First Time

The introspection gave me the problems and the root cause of my loss of interest and endless social media surfing. Now to deal with the same. I took up the energy exercises to deal with the problem – EFT and Ho’oponopono. As I was dealing with the problems, I noticed another pattern. What was it?

Most of the time, these bouts of listlessness used to follow a peak performance or when I was on top of things. It is as if someone or something had to cause the distraction, listlessness, and subsequently my failure. It was the same pattern every time. So, I got on to cleaning my mind.

As I worked on it, that’s when a few other things came to the fore. More fears, but interesting ones (I called it interesting, but it was quite disturbing.)

The fears were:

“There is no path to follow. I won’t succeed this way.”

“I have no way to get to my targets. There are simply not enough opportunities.”

Notice how the above two fears focus on me not having a path. Why did I find it interesting? Well, in my current online world, there is indeed no defined path to success (although there roughly is) nor a well-trodden path. But the point is, in my corporate setup earlier, I did have a well-laid-out plan, opportunities I could work on, and things that I had to do to succeed. Then why did I have this fear back then? I could only surmise one thing – I had lost a good amount of my life believing in this baloney.

But here’s where it got interesting. You and I would have heard a lot of talks on how we can imagine an outcome, and it can come true if we stay focused on it and work towards it. This is quite true, but my problem was, these thoughts never allowed me to focus on the outcome. I couldn’t look at the outcome long enough to make a path, nor could I focus long enough for God to lay down the path for me.

I was in a self-sabotaging mode.

Interesting Realization | And Ruthless Obliteration of the Unwanted Thoughts

Then I went all ballistic on these unwanted thoughts and patterns. It took me a couple of hours before I could release these useless thoughts, and I reinforced my mind with new thoughts, which went as follows:

“If I can focus on the outcome long enough, nothing in the world can stop me from achieving it.”

“God makes a way if I can focus on the outcome. After all, Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”

“Even an untrodden path could lead me to my outcome if I boldly focused on the outcome that I desired.”

I felt quite empowered after these thoughts were encoded into my subconscious. Did it work? Well, this is the second day after the encryption (😊), and I am here writing this article. It worked indeed!

Old Chatter Gone | New Chapter Begins

For the first time in a good amount of time, I have a peaceful faith that things will work out. This is a drastic departure from the earlier debilitating thoughts. It has brought energy back into my work life and my life, in general. Remember, one of the points that I had mentioned earlier in this article?

Let’s go back to one of my earlier comments - It is as if someone or something had to cause the distraction, listlessness, and subsequently my failure – who is this someone or something? In the past, I would have brushed this off as just another thought. But now I would rather call a spade a spade. I believe in God, and that is a good enough reason to know the ungodly exists, too. This debilitating, energy-sapping, peace-destroying, faith-crippling voice is from the ungodly. These whispers of paralyzing suggestions when everything seems good are from the unwanted spirit. And this is why we need God’s protection.

I am not one to lean on a school of thought so easily. It took me time to reach here, and that means I have researched things well and have reflected deeply on my experiences. Depression is no joke, and the only power to get us out of it is God. God will send his angels in many forms to give us a helping hand. So, find God and never leave his side. Chances are that God is already by your side. You only need to acknowledge it and feel blessed!

So, I hope my own struggles and corrections that God helped me with help you, too; if you need it. I wish you a strong faith and a great life! 😊

Image Courtesy: Depression by BiancaVanDijk at Pixabay(dot)com