Closure | Completion | What Do I Mean?

I have been in situations where I had to complete a task or activity by taking just the last two or three steps, and yet I wouldn’t do those steps. I used to keep pushing it away. I knew what to do, but I didn’t want to do it. That behavior was baffling. Baffling as it may be, it wasn’t turning out well in my life.

We are social animals, and when I speak about closure, it is not just about or for me, but about everyone associated with that closure. For example, if I had a business deal running, I would have to call and meet one last time to close the deal, but I just wouldn’t. I would delay it and postpone it. Now, you see, it was not about me alone over here, right? There was the client on one side, my boss on the other side, and most of all, two organizations. It wasn’t me alone getting affected, but the entire ecosystem that was dependent on me to close things. And how do you think these postponements went down with my bosses? You guessed it.

Not only was it affecting me, but also others with me, and eventually, the others would forsake me because of me. No one was at fault except me. But why was this happening?

Why? | What Was Happening? | The Never-Ending End

On closer inspection, this was not only the case with the office, but also my private life, my public life and family life. This avoidance to come to an end was giving me a cold feet every single time and it had affected me so bad that I decided to deal with it.

Dealing with it wasn’t easy. Why? Because I had to neutralize this feeling of postponing, because, like with the other cases of closing, I would push it away. It went on for some time, and then I grabbed it by the neck as I couldn’t take it anymore.

I am pretty certain most of you would have guessed why I wasn’t closing things. If we go with the above example of closing a deal, it is obvious that I feared rejection - a case where the deal went to another organization. I didn’t want to face it. That’s it.

This wasn’t all, though. There were more.

What More? | Some More Fears?

While the fear that we just saw was the most obvious one, and we have a name for it – fear of rejection – it was not the only one. There were more, and these seem to have been picked up by me from my environment - childhood, first job, etc. There were many possibilities. Anyway, we will leave the possibilities for some other time. Let’s look at the fears.

Fear: What if I put my 100% and work passionately to close, and it does not close in my favor? Wouldn’t I be shattered to try again? (Shattered had a lot of feeling to it.)
Result: I feared putting my 100% into any work that progressed to closure.

Fear: What if I put my 100% and the deal does not close in my favor? What a shame it would be to go right down to the wire and lose! I won’t be able to deal with it ever. (A slight variation of the above one. But both are distinct fears.)
Result: Postponing closure.

Fear: What if I give everything for closure and I lose? How will the world react? (This one was a specific fear I had of my dad in my school days. Not getting first rank was terrifying. I guess he, as a kid, also went through the same. So, I understand him now.)
Result: Fear that I would be hated. Postponed closure.

While these were fears particular to my job, there were similar ones for other areas of my life. And the result would invariably be postponing closure. It was affecting all areas of my life. I had to deal with it. And that’s what I did.

Dealing With Closure | What Was Really My Fear?

I have already stated in other articles that I practice energy exercises like EFT, NLP, and Ho’oponopono. Even more than these, I had turned back to God, Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit once again. This was the single biggest win for me – going back to God. I still don’t know how I could have looked away from Him.

So, here’s the thing. I did some introspection of my fears, and here is what I found as my internal dialogue.

In the case where I feared I would be shattered, the thing was I felt I would be lost and have no energy left to start all over again. This underlying thought was easily neutralized by the knowledge that “God is limitless and His creation (me) would also have the blessing of being limitless.” So, then I said, let’s experience what shattering feels like and counter it by standing up again. The silence that I heard after this was Aaammaaazing!

One other aspect came up as I was dealing with my fears of closure. I feared that if I messed up this closure, there wouldn’t be more to work on. This is typical scarcity thought. Once again, I said, God is God of abundance, and there is an endless supply of deals as endless as the breath I take. This fear was neutralized, too.

The last one was the fear of the repercussions if the closing was not in our favor. This fear came from facing my dad in my childhood days. This one was easy; I had compassion for my dad, believing that he, too, would have gone through something similar. Besides, every single exam that I finished, I actually topped. I had to be grateful to him, instead. 😊

So, that’s how I neutralized the fears. Also, those who don’t know energy exercises, it’s ok. It also works if you pray to God. He is always listening. And one more way is to put doubt in the fear.

Ask questions like:

1. What if I have to face the repercussions and get through it? I have gone through repercussions before, right?
2. What if I fail in this deal, and what if it is okay?
3. What if failing in a deal is the fastest way to get to new and better deals?
4. What if failing is overrated?
5. What if failing in closure is not that bad?
6. What if I am still loved despite failing in closure? After all, my father did not disown me if I didn’t top in school and college, right? 😉

These are called pattern interrupts. It sows doubts in our negative beliefs and is very useful in countering them. So, that’s about me and my closure fears. I hope this helped you and hope you can put it to use and relieve yourself of unwanted thoughts and beliefs.

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