The Conditioning

It was not intentional, nor was it planned, but I went through conditioning that kept me at borderline anxiety, fear, and worry. Now, I was blessed with the best of things, but the environment left me in uncertainty and fear. That got coded into my subconscious, where I carried it with me for the rest of my life.

The problem with that kind of mental programming is that we are always simmering. Not a single moment to wind down or relax. Even when we genuinely have a chance to relax, the mind would race to problems previously experienced, or problems yet to be dealt with, or worse still, stay on the lookout for new problems.

Can you imagine what kind of life that would be? - Anxiety and fear leading to disappointment, discouragement, and depression. And all that put together would eventually have its physical manifestation as stress, leading to blood pressure or heart problems. In some extreme cases, like mine, even psoriasis and lupus. (Yep, I had been diagnosed with both. The key words are “had been")

How Did the Conditioning Affect Me?

It took me a while to see that my mind was stranded at the edge of “things going wrong” or “about to go wrong”. Always standing at the edge of the cliff, fearing the possibility of falling off. It was so bad that I didn’t even know that all I had to do was turn around and notice that the solid ground (or good things) was right there. Or my inability to view the beauty that the edge of the cliff offered. I was too strongly focused on things going wrong.

Why did this happen? Simply because of what I picked up from my environment. I was trained to stay safe from a never-ending barrage of problems, issues, and challenges bombarding me. It was so intense that I couldn’t feel the peace that existed. I was like the soldier on the lookout for enemies even during non-war times. The mind, heart, and the body as a whole never got respite. The only time I did find respite was when I went to sleep.

But going to sleep with an anxious mind is as good as staying anxious with your eyes closed. And then I slipped into all possible physical ailments that I could have avoided.

But There’s Hope | If You Can See the Problem | Then You Can Deal with the Problem

I have practiced energy exercises for nearly fifteen years, and still haven’t been able to get around this issue. It took me some time to realize the issue and some more time to neutralize it. Why I wasn’t able to neutralize it immediately? It was because of some very un-obvious reasons. We will get to the un-obvious reason, but first, what did I do to put my mind at peace? (the ones that didn’t work).

You see, since I use energy exercises like EFT, Ho-oponopono, and more, I realized that you need to get to the root cause of the problem to deal with the problem effectively. And since I read quite voraciously as well, I went on some solid medical sites to know the root cause of Psoriasis, Lupus and stress. Guess what, all the sites said something similar – and what was that?

It is “BELIEVED” that psoriasis is…. However, the cause of psoriasis is “UNKNOWN”.

It is “BELIEVED” that lupus is… however, the cause of lupus is “UNKNOWN”.

Notice that even an authoritative voice on ailments isn’t sure about the ailment or its root cause. You don’t have to take my word for it. You can check for yourselves. My problem was how to use energy exercise if I didn’t know the root cause?

Anyway, I dealt with the problem by taking an un-obvious route. Let’s talk about the Un-obvious.

The Un-obvious | Obvious to Some | Not So Obvious to Many

Having come to the biggest conclusion of the century - that no ailment’s root cause is actually known to our medical experts - I was left to fend for myself. I had to ask myself questions like – when did it first happen? What was the situation like at that time? What changed? What was I feeling? Anyone practicing energy exercise would know this line of questioning and introspection.

And then something not-so-obvious turned up. I noticed the same pattern across all my ailments, mindset problems, and root causes. You see, I had been quite a religious person as a kid, with my mom insisting on praying daily. I even got married to a lady who was way more spiritual (and religious) than I was. But after my mom passed away, I somehow took prayers for granted. I thought God would anyway look after me. So, I would end up saying a five-second prayer (if I remembered) and do my usual Sunday church outings. That’s it. That’s how close (or far) to God I was. I was so far from God that He did not appear like a real Being. And society further accentuated that belief. Talking about God was uncool, and talking about my own will power, achievements was manly. Besides, I was doing well at work anyway. Why change?

The thing is, God is very kind to offer us our own will, and too powerful to grab us by our ears. But you know what is not very kind? The ungodly. The first instance of a guard let-down is an open invitation to the ungodly. I had seen all those pastors and YouTube preachers say it, but here I was about to experience it myself. And I did experience.

You know why I was always on the edge? Because I was constantly bombarded by an inner voice that told me…

“This achievement was not good enough. Anyone could have done it. I am taking credit for something normal.”

“People are just being nice to me while complimenting. They talk behind my back.”

“The next deal won’t be so easy.”

“There is nothing I have done so far that I can be proud of.”

These are just a few of those invasive, unwanted thoughts. At that time, I thought these were mine. Now, you understand why I was on edge all the time? These are not even a small fraction of the debilitating thoughts that I endured. Now, tell me, if these weren’t my thoughts or voice, whose was it? God’s? Or the ungodly?

You see that modern medicine does not have answers to our ailments. It tries to solve the symptoms and hopes that the root cause vanishes. But the real answer to the root cause is God. I experienced that too. And when I combined my energy exercises focused on God, the problems fell like a pack of cards. I started praying daily. Not because I was scared, but because I wanted to pray. The peace that I always sought was finally mine. At the edge of the cliff, I could finally see the beauty of God’s creation, and when I felt my heart filled, I could turn around and find firm ground to carry me through.

I am at the edge no more. God is the answer, and Jesus is my savior! I had to share this experience so that you knew the real answer to your problems. I wish you find your solutions and peace too!! Keep at it. God is there to help!

Image Courtesy: Depression by BiancaVanDijk at Pixabay(dot)com