Our choices shape the future of our Children

The adults we see in the society are at majority a reflection of the choices the parents made. Some times we see some children are completely opposite to their parents and that also is an influence that the parent, teacher or the elders around has made on them. Sometimes there are contradicting influences the child gets in the growing up and this leaves them in a very confused state.

This majorly happens in Indian homes where we live in joint families, there are many elderly people living in the same home and all of them has in some or the other way impact on the child. I lived with my in-laws and when my Son was small, along with me and my husband, there was daily influence of my in-laws, which were my father, mother and sister in-law. And we all had different ways of life. My mother-in-law would over pamper my Son and my hubby on the other hand was very strict. I would try to keep the balance between the two some how. But at times it would be challenging. My mother-in-law would always keep the best for my Son, for her it was out of love, but over a period of time, my Son got into this habit of having the best in the home, and till date it continues.

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He feels that he deserves the best of everything. Thankfully he is the only child so it's ok, if there would have been a sibling for him then he would have major challenges. It becomes very complicated with too many people overlooking the child. In school they are influenced by their teachers, there also some times there are contradictions to the home environment. And at the same time, one cannot avoid it because they will be exposed to many mentors and guides in their growing up.

As parents, what choices we make for ourselves in front of our children is also important because they see everything and they keep registering all that they see. Personally for me I was raised in a very toxic environment and this left a deep impact for me till a very long time in my adulthood and thankfully with self-realization gradually in my life I changed a lot of these negative patterns of my life. It's not easy and it made me suffer for a long time. When my son was small, me and hubby always made it a point that if we have any arguments or fights between us we should do it when he was not around. In his presence no matter whatever the situation between us is, we need to behave normal. This was helpful in his growing up, because with great pride I can say that he has turned out to be a very loving and sensitive person.

Children do need lot of care and attention in their growing up and any reckless behavior in front of them do influence them in some or the other way. Future of a child is just not what they become when they grow up, it is also about the character and personality they shape up in to.

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I've registered a lot of things from my mom while growing up and some of the values and principles I have now is based on what she thought me, albeit indirectly.

Children just observe and assimilate what's around thier environment, without any filter or discernment of what's right or wrong.

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True, as children we just absorb without any filters. Our minds get conditioned by our parents behavior and that goes a long way in our life. So glad that your mother's ways are imbibed strongly within you, and I can see that, the wisdom you hold for your age is immense.

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