Memoir Monday #29 - How would you describe your parents' relationship?
people in Dad's bar
This is my post for #memoirmonday prompt How would you describe your parents' relationship? hosted by @ericvancewalton
Dad's Bar
I always thought my Mom and Dad would be together forever, that was when I was a young child. I do not remember them having any fights, but I do remember walking into Dad's bar many times and seeing a strange woman sitting on his lap, she had long red hair and she was very nice and I remember thinking how nice it would be if she was my Mom. It was not long after that, mom told us she would not be staying in the house with us. For a long time, I blamed myself for Mom leaving because I wished someone else was my mother.
Mom's trailer
Mom had this trailer brought in and set up for her to live in, it was put across the road from our house. She had the boats built at Mays Marina which was across the river from the inlet. The boats would be her income, she rented them to people who came there to camp, and she supplied the motor and everything else they needed. This arrangement did not last long because Dad kept coming over and starting arguments with Mom. I remember one time he came with a banana cream pie, they fought, and Dad smeared the pie on the inside of Mom's car, Dash, windshield, and floor. It was not long after that, Mom moved across the river and Dad would not let her leave the inlet with us, she had to visit us there.
day Dad got custody of us
This was the day we went before the judge to see who got to keep us. I remember this day clearly. Dad set me on the counter in his bar and said, "Who are you going to tell the judge you want to live with". I said, You Dad and he said that's my girl and gave me a big hug. Then he set my sister up there and asked her the same thing.
When the State took over our home and we had to move, we first stayed at a campground in DeLand Fl, Mom came to see us. We had no idea where we were moving so she did not know where we would end up. After this, they seemed to get along. We spent 3 months staying at campgrounds and Dad looking at property to buy. We ended up in Ava Missouri.
There are no pictures of my parents together so I would say after they separated pictures of them together were destroyed.
photos are mine
Sorry to hear about the break-up between your dad and mom! That must be painful at that time! Why did you choose to stay with your Dad, instead of your Mom?
Was it a normal thing to stay with Dad?
#aliveandthriving
Yes back then the man always had the kids live with him, it did not matter what we said to the judge, we would have still been with Dad.
Their divorce was a painful thing to happen, they are the two people that are the most important to a child, and having one move away from home is very hurtful. And then to see Dad say you can not go off anywhere with your mother is more painful.
I''m sorry you and your siblings had to go through all that. Times were so different back then. The scales of justice and mostly everything else was tilted in favor of the men. Did your mom stay in Florida when you moved to Missouri?
Yes she did, she came to visit a couple of times. When we got old enough and the chance we all moved back to Florida, Dad was the last to move back, I guess he decided there was no sense in him staying up there if all the family was down here.
Hello greetings, the separation of parents is very painful for both children and parents, but as parents we must protect children from influences, I think your father emotionally manipulated you so that you would stay with him, my parents were always my support, even when I had the divorce with the father of my daughters, I loved him very much, but I learned to live without him, what I did talk to them about was how hard his father worked, so that they would not suffer his absence, because he divorced them too. The process of a divorce is very painful. My daughters are older now, I liked your story, thank you.
A 🤗 🌻🦋🌈
Hola saludos, la separación de los padres es muy dolorosa para ambos niños y padres, pero como padres debemos proteger a los hijos de influencias, creo que tu padre te manipulo emocionalmente para que te quedaras con él, mis padres fueron siempre mi apoyo, aun cuando tuve el divorcio con el padre de mis hijas, le amaba mucho, pero aprendí a vivir sin él, lo que si les hablaba de su papá de lo mucho que trabajaba, para que no sufrieran su ausencia, porque él se divorció de ellas también. Es muy doloroso el proceso de un divorcio. Ya mis hijas son mayores, me gustó tu relato, gracias.
Yes I agree Dad was setting us up to tell the judge we wanting to stay with him. When I divorced my kids Dad, I kept my feelings out of it with them, I have never said anything bad about him to them and he could see them whenever he wanted.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
It is a pleasure for me.
Es un placer para mi 🌻🦋🌈