I choose me

Honestly, I haven't been able to pick up the phone to call anyone from Christmas to the New Year.

This bothers me on one side, but on the other hand, I think it doesn't bother me. 2024 was the year I believed that all of my problems would go away and eventually it did because in 2023 I made a life-changing choice and with the help of my brother whom I cherish so much I was able to get the emotional and financial support I needed. And from there everything was running smoothly.

Well, it was up until 2024 that I came back to my childhood neighbourhood and started reconnecting and engaging with some of my old friends and also making new friends.

I should know better not to try to get too attached or let people get attached to me but I just can't help it as wherever I go my presence seems to be felt strongly no matter how much I try to fly under the radar.

Making new friends didn't help me because these people who had known me from when I was small thought I was still the same person who was all smelling and happy all the time. To them, I was a spoilt child who just happened to get lucky with almost everything.

This was what someone said to a friend of mine after I said I wouldn't be working at my cyber cafe shop anymore because it was taking too much from me than it was giving me. I lost a lot of Hive in the process all in the hope of having an offline stream of income to be able to buy back more Hive in the future.

But instead, it didn't work so I had to just call it quits.

To many people, I was lazy, stupid and wasteful because they thought everything was handed to me not knowing I had to take out loans to merge it with what was given to me by my dad. At first, I hesitated but because of too much pressure from my dad and my mom, I gave it a try.

You see, if I ask for money for something that is online-based like Hive it is usually viewed differently because of how online fraud is the trend around here.

To cut a long story short, I was labelled crazy, lazy and lots of other names by people because of my attitude of saying NO when I wanted.

This got to me that I was indoors for more than a week which happens to be the Christmas week. All my friends started gossiping about where was I getting money from to be able to even afford a data subscription and buy things that I needed when I needed them.

In short, I have now been labelled a fraudster just cause im mostly indoors since everyone now wants to start judging the way I live my life. For this reason, I am sticking to myself and keeping my circle small this year.

I like to play with people a lot and make them feel good but it seems everyone wants me feeling bad and moody. Just imagine how I felt when a friend said I might've sold my soul to the devil just because I have no work and I still can afford what they can't.

Life is funny because I'm very broke rn but to my friends im a rich guy who happens to always get lucky with everything even after closing down my shop to having no job rn.

Interestingly im now learning uiux but this is something im not telling people as I dont care to make them understand me anymore. I CHOOSE ME