Discipline Not Punishment

Discipline is one area of parenting that we have recorded a lot of losses due to parental recklessness. This is why the topic deserves some high intellectual discussion. I wish this is a podcast, I would love to pour out my mind regarding disciplining a child. Let me however start by saying that children are born in different homes, environments and are cared for by different parents, as the parenting styles on discipline can never or should never be the same.

Discipline itself is defined as the act of correcting an abnormal behaviour. It takes a disciplined parent to have the temerity to discipline his or her child. Let's not forget that the proportion of undisciplined children in society is almost equal, if not more equal to the number of undisciplined parents around the world.

As said elsewhere, there are no manuals anywhere that talks about how a child should be disciplined but there are guidelines that must be followed because in the course of passing correction through discipline, injury must not be inflected, else it ces cruelty or abuse. Even as parents, there are levels of punishment we must not administer on our wards, they are called corporal punishment.
The United Nations International Children Education Fund (UNICEF) has made countries of the world adopt the Child Right Act, a law that protects the children from abuse and inhumane treatment.

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From the above, as a parent, one must be wise enough to fall prey to government traps in the name of administering discipline on his or her child. Here is what I believe worked for me as a parent and may likely work for you if you have a heart of a parent.

Open Conversation:
A parent must invest a lot of time in conversation with their children. This is so that the children would have known the value of their parents and not go against it. Children who know what their parents likes or dislikes and see their character each time someone goes against their standard would have learned not to be indisciplined. You will find out that children who have a close tie with their parents are always very cautious not to break rules.

We should know that parenting is not war, hencet, parents should not be at war with their wards, they should rather be their friends. That way, the children will feel loved and welcome and able to express their mind.

Rule Setting:
When rules are to be made in the home front, the children should be made to be part of the formation process. This will also give them a sense of responsibility, knowing the consequence of wrongdoing since they were part of the discussion that made such rules.
This method is what schools apply in combating excesses or over-zealousness among learners. Over the years the method has helped to control the misdemeanor rate among learners. I am optimistic that when this is brought to the home front, it will help improve the discipline rate of children.

Boundary Setting:
Parents should be ready to set boundaries for their wards. No matter how cool headed a child may be, there is a need to set limits. It is this awareness that keeps the child in check, making him or her a disciplined individual.

Reward, Motivation and Reprimand:
For children who behave positively, parents should reward them. This will help introduce motivation and acceptance to act in a good manner on the part of the child and other children in that home.

When a child is not meeting up, the parents could introduce motivation and when he or she does what is wrong, the parent should include reprimand in the styles that could be used to control the child. Whatever disciplinary measure a parent wishes to adopt must be scrutinized and must not injure the child because it could be culpable.

Role Playing:
Parents themselves should be disciplined before their wards. They should not expect a child under the same roof to act differently from what they have presented. You know, children see how their parents take on certain issues and want to act like their parents when the same scenario pops up.

Let I be clear that discipline is not about punishment, it is about modeling children to be able make informed decision and shun wrong doings.