It can only get better #170

While everyone would go to bed peacefully at night after speaking to their love ones or after having an amazing day, the case is always different for me.

During the day when people would look forward to going home to families or comfort zone, I envy most of them because I wished I could be like them for just a single day.
And, I'll spend my night turning and tossing on the bed, or eventually stand and move around in the dark room. Of course I'll shower countless times at first but as time goes on, I realized it's not about the shower and no amount of shower can put me to bed. I understood that.

It was a very hot afternoon after I'd gotten back as usual and another version of breakdown happened, I picked myself up the floor, look into the mirror and look at the reflection of myself. My eyes were swollen and tired, red and watery, my body temperature had increased as usual and I said to myself...
"for how long, are you going to keep doing this?, how much tears do you have left in your eyes to shed?"
At that instant, I realized that crying wouldn't help me. It has never helped, and it will never help. There's no point in doing that anymore. That was the beginning to my breakthrough.

I needed to hear my voice, hence, I'll pen down words in form of poems, short stories and give to people to read. No one told me to do that. I enjoy reading and for that moment, I get to live in another world. When, I write, I am able to express and defend myself in my characters.
I see people that needs to talk and I am always right. I become friends with them, get them to talk, help them hear their voices and then, I leave. I am very poor with friendship and maintaining friendships. I'm beginning to think friendship is not for everybody. With everything, I overcame the difficult moments.

I eventually learnt that difficulties are part of our lives. There is absolutely nothing we can do to avoid difficult times but we can learn to live and manage it well.
I'll share with you personal tips on getting over difficult moments. Here they are:-

Know yourself, who you are and what you want: knowing who you are and what you want out of life is the beginning of breakthrough. When the days are hard, how do you react to them? It matters a lot.

Understanding that this moment of hardship is a phase and will also pass is important. Hence, keep calm and look at the brighter side of the problem. Whenever I'm down, I made sure to repeat to myself "It will get better"... "It can only get better"... "This too shall pass".

Speaking positive words to oneself. I will be fine, it's going to get better, it is only a matter of time, I am important and I matter. Say it until you're convinced.

Getting help;- speaking up to people trustworthy or a therapist if there is no one to trust. Not many people have the courage to speak up, instilled fear from childhood or past trauma is still stopping some people from speaking up even now that they are adult. Having that confidence to speak up is important.
Get treated, be intentional with getting better and better. Live for yourself because it's your right to be happy.

Surround yourself with people that sees and knows you, people that understand and allow you talk without calling you a talkative, people that truly care about you, love to see you smile, understand your silence and happiness.

Most importantly, have the courage to leave! Learn to say No! Enough is enough! Look into the mirror and see the beautiful side of you. Leave behind the past and move into the bright future.

Don't be a prisoner of yourself. Difficult moments will come and how you react to it will either make or mar you. Have it at the back of your mind that "this too shall pass".