THE WEIGHT OF RESENTMENT ; LEARNING TO LET GO
Today, while sitting down, I started reflecting on how heavy the burden of resentment was to me.... Ómór, I knew the effects of what resentment actually did to me... It brought about hat hatred, grudges, like I didn't even want to see him alive but ómór, when my wish had come to pass I even because pained that it happened.....
A lot of us do know the meaning of resentment I don't need to define it but I am going to tell us what happened that led to resentment of the breathen.....
Wheñ I was still a child my parents were always very busy with work and stuffs like that, and of course, my dad was the person taking care of us, my mom Then was in a copy till I was 12 so basically, when I was a child, I didn't have the experience of having a mom to talk to.
My dad will come back from work, then go to the hospital to check on his wife, then come back home after a long day feeling tired and weak, after dinner you will have to go straight to bed no time to talk..
One day, my cousin came to the house at night, my elder sister was in boarding school, I came back for mid term, and my cousin visited oooi... We were excited, my brother and I welcomed him as usual and we sat down to gist....
Before his arrival I was already in the bathroom taking my evening bath, I rush out when someone knocked on the gate....
I dressed am and when to open the get.... I went to clean my body later... Ómór
.....as my cousin na I thought I was safe.
I later overhead him telling my junior brother if he will play games, my junior brother loved game so much.... He was enticed and my cousin gave my brother his phone while be came to the room to look for me, I was trying to dress up when he opened my door.... I screamed but my brother didn't hear.
That was when my cousin grapes me to himself while I struggle to free myself.... I tried removing my undies and I screamed.......in other words he tried raping me but I don't know were the strength came from but I over powered him and since them the hatred I had for him was massive.
When my dad was home, I tried talking to him but he said he was tired we will talk tomorrow, tomorrow reached, and he had left for work before we even woke up.
I decided to keep it in me....
Anything we go for family come together, he disgust me, I look at him with resentment and hatred, omor..... My heart was heavy anytime I remember.....
If I go to his family compound, I just talk to his parents and siblings and go but I did it in a very cordial way that nobody suspected anything.....
I refused to let that particular burden go....
As time went on....
One day I was in the lecture room when my brother called me to tell me that my cousin is dead I had to confirm which of them and it was him...at first I was happy but then again I remembered we are blood....
Though the dead didn't touch me but I felt bad.... I had to go to my room immediately and I prayed for a heart of forgive..... I know I didn't forgive him when he was alive but I wasn't expecting him to die anything soon because he is still a young boy....
I forgive him, I let go of everything and I could feel the burden of grief lifted up immediately.... I was free and I was able to attend his funeral with a free minded heart.....
Learn to let go...it makes you your own prisoner
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